Scary thought

It dawned on me late last night that by this weekend we may not have Briar in our lives any more :( It is so hard for me to wrap my head around this thought. It will be so sad, quite and empty around here if this happens. Honestly, I don't know if Dan and I have it in us to pursue another adoption if this one fails. This is so much harder then any infertility issues.

So many people have said to think positively and keep the faith. Really no matter what we think right now it is not going to change what IB decides. And we need to protect ourselves right now and plan for the worse case scenario. Don't get me wrong, I'm still praying but I just need to be prepared (as much as one can be in this situation).

IB has an appointment today (Wednesday) with a social worker at the agency. It's not with her social worker because wouldn't you know it, Raechel is on vacation during this whole thing. The one person that has been IBs sole support through this and knows all the reasons why she originally decided on an adoption plan. I just hope they keep really good notes in their files so this other social worker can provide the support IB needs right now.

Oh no! Lifetime Movie moment :(

At some point in every one's life there is a Lifetime Movie moment, you know what I'm talking about. Well mine was today. I received a call from the agency this afternoon, IB is second guessing her decision :(

This does not mean she is changing her mind yet but she wants to make sure she is making this decision for the right reasons. The agency is getting her in touch with parenting resources and another birth mom who has gone through with the adoption process to hear how it feels once it is all done. Mainly will it still hurt as bad as it does today.

She did call us last night and Dan talked with her. He said she sounded down and has been sick. I think the pressure of signing, the 10 working day/legal risk period, being sick and not seeing Briar for almost 2 weeks has gotten to her.

The agency did say that most birth moms do call within this legal risk period with doubts. I really have no clue as to how this will turn out however most Lifetime movies have a happy ending, don't they? Sorry for the light humor but it's either that or continue to cry my eyes out.

If you are the praying type we would appreciate your prayers that God will do what is right for Briar. I hope it is that he stays with us but you just never know His plan.

She Signed!

I just received a call from our Agency and IB signed the Consent for Adoption papers today.

Whoooohoooooo!!!!!!!!!

Now we just wait until September 7th when it becomes irrevocable and Briar will be ours for forever ;-)

Please send prayers our way that she does not change her mind within this timeframe.

More waiting

Well the signing did not happen today, unfortunately IB had to reschedule due to a work issue. Raechel reassured us that the reschedule had nothing to do with IB having second thoughts that it truly was a scheduling conflict and she could not make it in by the time the office closed. It has been scheduled for Friday and IB has the day off of work so there shouldn't be anything to get in the way this time, hopefully.

Milestones

We've hit a couple of milestones this weekend. This is the first weekend that IB has not came to visit Briar. There was only one week before that she did not visit him and that was after she left the hospital and Briar went to the foster moms. It feels a little odd not to see her this weekend. I do think this really shows she is making progress with moving on with her life and letting Briar do the same.

Last night Dan and I went out for our first "Date Night" and Briar got to spend the evening with Grandma Sue and Grandpa Don. He of course had a blast with them and couldn't stop talking about it after they left (LOL!). We went to a movie and then to dinner. We saw Bourne Ultimatum, which we thought was awesome. But get this, in the movie there is this top secret ops organization called "Black Briar". WHAT?! Both Dan and I looked at each other when it was said. Too weird!

I knew sooner or later this would happen, I'm getting a cold. My first sickness with having to take care of our son. I hate getting sick, especially colds cause when I get them they are really really bad! And I'm the type of person that has to load up on drugs to get through it. Well I don't think I'll be able to do that anymore. Now I know why my mom rarely was sick, she just couldn't be.

This morning Briar and I were chatting and having a fun time. He was cooing and I was cooing back. Then I was saying "hi" to him a couple times over and I swear he said it back to me! Dan was in the living room too but he was typing away on his PC so I told him and he came to listen but of course Briar got shy. I guess he only will say hi to Mommy ;-)

It's been scheduled!

FINALLY!!! The Consent signing has been scheduled for Monday August 20th at 4pm. Keep your fingers crossed for us that it does not get rescheduled. I don't think I can take much more waiting, the anxiety has been almost unbearable. The Consent does not become legally binding until 10 working days after IB signs, which I think will be September 4th since Labor Day is in there and not consider a working day. Dan did have a conversation with Raechel asking if she thought IB had any second thoughts and she said she did not think so. That she seemed happy with her decision of us being Briar's parents and has been very happy that she has been able to visit him. That was a relief off our minds.

The following pictures are not to be taken lightly. This is what happens when you don't tend to your garden more then once a week!

Gasps!

How am I suppose to pick this toy up???

Roxie's thinking "Huh? What am I suppose to do with that?"

"Okay then, I'll just lay here and wait to see if it moves."

Time Flies!

We are entering our 4th week with Mr Briar being a part of our family. Wow! He has changed and grown so much since that first week, every day he seems to be a bit heavier or maybe Mom's arms are getting tired (LOL!). I definitely need to start back up on the Total Gym soon.

I know everyone has been waiting anxiously for an update on the Consent papers, they have not been signed yet. Briar's birthmom (I'll use "IB" to refer to her) did try to get it scheduled last week, however Raechel was so busy and out of the office on Thursday and Friday. I'm hoping it will be this week, but we have been instructed by Raechel not to pressure IB. Which we really weren't we just asked the other week her thoughts on it and she has been ready to sign since the 2nd week. Anyway, I'll just wait for the call from Raechel saying they have been signed and will not ask IB as to status.

This week we are touring daycare centers. I have 2 already set up for Thursday and waiting for the 3rd to call us back. I really want to check out this 3rd one since our social worker takes her son there so I'm thinking it must be pretty good. I do wish though that I could be a stay at home mom (SAHM) but that won't happen unless we win the lottery or I can find a part time work from home job that pays at least half my salary. We knew that would be the case when we bought our new home last year but now that it is a reality that we have alittle one it's going to be hard to go back to work :(

Briar is doing much better with his gas issue and colic. He only has about 2 hour episodes around 7pm each night of colic, has gone down from about 4 hours. The new formula and bottles have cut down on the gas (still has alot but not severe), however can you say peeuuww and eeuuww for the poops he is now having on this formula. These usually happen when Dan is at work, lucky Daddy! The other week we bought some gas drops and have used only a couple of times so far, seems to help. I did buy some Gripe Water and a book on Baby Massage yesterday, so hopefully one or both will help with the colic.

Here are some pictures from last week.

Wild Hair Morning

Spa Time!

I'm sooooo happy!

Yes girls that is a dimple!

Aaahhhhh, Roxie's found a friend

Some good news

Today Briar's birth mom came for a visit, everything went great. We are all getting more comfortable with each other, not totally relaxed yet but that will come with time. I still can't believe how lucky we were with this match, she is such a sweet and wonderful person. I can tell though that this is hard on her but she is committed to her plans.

Before the visit Dan and I discussed that we would ask her about signing the Consent papers and actually Dan was to ask her. I instigated a few conversations where it would fit naturally into the conversation but he never mentioned it. I couldn't take the anticipation any longer so I took a deep breath and just did it! I asked her if she would have time to sign the papers this week and she said that actually she had been calling and emailing Raechel (the social worker) all last week to schedule it since she was ready to do it but Raechel has not gotten back to her. UGH!!!! Doesn't Raechel know we are holding our breath until this is done!?!?!? We of course called and left her a message regarding this. I pray she is able get it scheduled this week.

We are okay

What a terrible tragedy that happened on Wednesday night with the I-35W bridge collapsing. Dan and I were in shock watching the news. As we were watching a small storm passed over us and wouldn't you know caused our Internet service to go out which was finally fixed today. So I was not able to post until now. Our family and friends are all okay, and also Briar's birth mom, thank you God! I can't stop praying for all those that were affected or somehow touched by this tragedy. We all take things for granted and seem to think there are things in our lives that aren't fair. This really makes you put things into perspective and turn to your loved ones and say "I love you!" You just never know.

The last couple of days have been pretty hard on Briar, he is suffering from some terrible gas problems. We went to Target last night to get a different type of bottle as well as formula (one that the pediatrician recommended the other day). The bottle seems to be working, not creating extra air as he eats, and he seems to be more comfortable while feeding. However he still is having some gas and is in pain at certain times during the day. We did call Dan's sister (she's a OB/pediatric nurse) last night and she said to keep doing what we are doing and soon it should hopefully pass.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers on our adoption process. We are anxiously waiting for the birth mom to sign her Consents, once she does I will definitely post about it.