Briar's first party

Briar attended his first party on Sunday which he was the guest of honor! We had a "welcome to the family" celebration, we opted for this in lieu of a traditional baby shower, which was alot of fun! Dan and I were amazed at the turn out and were so touched by the support and love we felt from everyone. We are so lucky to have such wonderful people in our lives and now a part of Briar's life as well. During the party I took a step back and just took everything in, what a truly happy time in our lives. I felt so filled with life and so blessed that we can now share in "family" event with friends, participate in play dates and just talk about parenting techniques with all of our friends that have children. We've waited so long for this, I just don't ever want it to end!

I want to send a special thank you out to my Mom(Sue), Jill, Kerri and Ron for hosting this event for us. They did such a fabulous job with everything! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Also a big THANK YOU to all our family and friends who attended and/or sent their well wishes!

Firsts

This last week has been filled with firsts! So I thought I would share these:

• We sent out our first ever baby announcement! I thought this day would never come, it was so great to put these in the mail. (Those in Canada, they have been mailed but we all know how slow postal mail can be.)


• Briar has slept through the night! Offically the first time was on September 6th but this past week he has done it 3 times!!!! On Saturday, Tuesday and Wednesday. He goes down at 10pm and wakes up at 5am. Mommy is so happy :)


• IB came for a visit on Sunday. Our first visit were we were officially the parents of Briar and not her. It was a great visit and he was very awake and talkative with her. It was wonderful to see him interact with her, they definitely have a special connection.


• We went for our first visit to Mommy's work on Monday and was very well behaved. Everyone just loved him and thought he was just the cutest thing ;-)


• Briar had his first almost successful thumb sucking on Monday (see picture below) and then last night he actually was successful for about 1 minute. I was not able to capture that Kodak moment :(


• Mommy and Briar spent our first night alone without Daddy in the house :( Dan is gone on a business trip to CA, he will be back on Friday afternoon. It went pretty good, however I think Briar could tell something was different since he woke up at 2am for a feeding and was up for the day at 6am. I guess he thought Mommy was lonely and needed his company ;-)


• And last but not least, Briar did his first blowing of a Raspberry last night! He has been pretty good about getting the spit built up for a couple of weeks but last night was the first time he actually did the full blown (ha ha ha) Raspberry.

So there you have it, my little guy is starting to grow up. What a wonderful year this is going to be for us!

(I just had to add a few other pictures besides the thumb sucking)

A weeks gone by

Has it already been a week since I was pacing the floor and jumping every time the phone rang?! Wow, this week has gone by so fast! Now that I don't have the fear of Briar leaving us I can enjoy every single minute with him without wondering if it is my last. All week I've been hugging and kissing him every chance I get (he probably feels smothered, LOL!). I can't get enough of looking into his eyes and face, he is just so beautiful and what a blessing!

He is starting to coo a lot more, he loves carrying on a conversation with me and thinks it is just so much fun. I just wish I knew what he was saying! He loves to smile and has giggled once for me, it was so cute! He is now down to only one feeding in the middle of the night. YAY!!!! And is finally on a set schedule which is just wonderful.

Grandma and Grandpa are going to baby sit again on Saturday night so we can have a date night. My mom offered the other day and I said I would have to check with Dan. When I asked Dan he said "Why are you asking me? When ever they offer to baby sit we should always say Yes!" It was one of those rare moments where Dan made sense and I wasn't thinking straight, he was pretty happy with himself for that one! Now we just need to find something to do on Saturday night.

100% ours

It's been almost 24 hours that Briar has been 100% ours! It still hasn't sunk in fully. I think it will once Raechel calls on Monday to Congratulate us.

We went out for a celebratory breakfast, unfortunately Briar probably didn't know since he was asleep. However Mommy and Daddy sure did enjoy it! Especially Daddy, he is a big breakfast fan. I can see it now, Briar and Daddy ganging up on Mommy to go to breakfast when all she wants to do is get an extra hour of sleep.

Today the words Mommy and Daddy certainly took on a whole new feeling for Dan and me, now when we say them to Briar it is 100% true! Can you see me smiling from ear to ear?????

What time is it?!?!

Not Morris Day and The Time! However, now I have their song in my head ......aawwwhhh the days of Prince and the Purple Rain ;-)

It is 9:00pm CST and we have not heard anything! This is great news since the other day Raechel said that no news is good news. That she would not call us tonight unless IB revoked. It has now been 4 hours since the deadline and I would think we would have heard something by now if she had.

Dan and I think it is pretty safe to say that Briar is forever our Son! We have already started our family celebration :)

Thank you! To every single person who took the time to say a prayer for us, no matter how short or long, God has heard us all and granted Dan and me this wonderful blessing.

I wasn't expected, I was selected!

please stop ringing

UGH! Would the phone please stop ringing today! I've had at least 5 phone calls so far today, which is out of the norm around here. The nerve of people to call today, especially a certain best friend (not to mention names, oh but I have too! Ron) who wasn't thinking. I don't know if I can handle having my stomach up in my throat anymore today.

Only a few more hours to get through. I can do this, I know I can. It must be like labor but without the physical pain, waiting anxiously for good news.

P.S. You know I forgive you Ronnie! ;-)

Events over the last few days

A couple things have happened over the last few days. We did hear from IB the other evening that she was able to get a hold of her Mom. She said the conversation went pretty good, once she was able to talk with her. The first call the Mom did not answer so IB tried the next day. She said that her Mom was mad that she did not tell her about her pregnancy but that she will support IB in whatever she decides to do (parent or adoption). The fact that this is an open adoption really helped her to not be closed to this option; that she can meet and be a part of Briar's life. I could tell when I was talking with IB how relieved she felt but also got the sense that now she might be considering parenting.

IB also asked if she could take Briar for a visit with the Aunt. We of course could not say no since we are in the legal risk period; not that we would have anyway but we are just concerned that the Aunt will continue to pressure her to parent and try to make her feel guilty about her decision. When she dropped him off we asked how it went she said "good", however we were not sure if that had meant he was good or that the Aunt wasn't giving her a hard time. Briar started to fuss so we didn't talk long.

Then last night we received a call from Raechel....FINALLY!!!!! She was able to connect with IB yesterday to discuss how things were going and how she felt. Raechel said that she sounded like a different person and very happy. I had to know, so I straight out asked Raechel if IB was thinking about parenting or going through with her adoption plan. She said that IB was planning on going through with the adoption. WAIT....don't get too excited just yet. As we know from past history (previous failed match) we should not always put 100% faith in what social workers say, since people can change their minds.

I am feeling pretty good though, I would have to say I'm about 80% confident that this adoption will happen(this is pretty good coming from the girl who's glass is always half empty, LOL!). IB has until 5pm on Friday to revoke, so if we don't hear from the agency on Friday evening (I would give them until 6pm to call us, if she revokes) Briar is ours forever!!!!

Please keep sending those prayers our way until Friday evening. THANKS!!!!!

New twist

Our meeting with IB yesterday went great! The discussions were very heart felt, open and honest. At times I teared up and so did IB. She stayed for almost 4 hours and Briar was awake for the majority which I know IB just loved. We did give her a white gold pendant, it is a shape of a heart and key. We wanted her to have something to reminder her of Briar and the importance she has in his life; that he is the key to her heart. She did give us both hugs when she left, which was a good sign.

However we did find out that now there is an added twist to her decision process. I think I had mentioned this before, IB kept her pregnancy a secret and moved away from her immediate family (several states away). She does have an Aunt who lives here in MN and she was able to hide it from her as well. However some how the Aunt found out (IB thinks it was her roommate snooping) and is not supportive at all of IB's adoption plan. The Aunt decided to intervene and called IBs Mom. So now IB has the added stress of having to face her Mom about Briar and her decision.

We did ask if this will change her mind, she sounded somewhat firm in her decision to move forward with the adoption. However we all know what family pressure can be like and she could succumb to their request to parent him.

If the family wasn't involved I would say that I was 99% confident she will go through with the adoption after yesterday's visit. But they are involved so it's a 50/50 shot.

Still holding breath

Briar is still with us :)

We did get some more information yesterday from Raechel, IBs social worker (she is back from vacation thank goodness). Raechel spoke with the other social worker that IB met with on Wednesday. Apparently IB has concerns about our openness relationship and how it will look in the future. Currently it has been pretty formal however she would like it to be more open and us sharing more information on how things are going with Briar. We totally agree! However every time she has come to visit she has brought a friend which is very hard to open up when there is a third person there.

She also wants to hear more from me, how I'm doing with bonding with Briar. I guess I've been holding back in fear that I would hurt her or make her feel bad if I shared too much on how things were going for me and him. Time to start opening up!

She knows in her heart it would be hard for her to parent Briar since all she really has to offer him is love. She is struggling with the question of "is that enough" and what really will be her future role if we parent him.

She did call last night and she is coming over on Sunday for a visit to discuss these things. We found out also that Raechel did not connect with her yesterday and when we told IB that we talked with Raechel yesterday she sounded surprised/disappointed (that she didn't get to talk with her but we did). We are pretty pissed that Raechel did not make it priority to connect with IB especially since she sounded pretty depressed. Raechel has been IBs sole support and I would think no matter how busy she is that it is her job to check in with her even if she had to do it after hours.

Anyway, this is somewhat encouraging but we are still holding our breath and need to see how Sunday goes.

Scary thought

It dawned on me late last night that by this weekend we may not have Briar in our lives any more :( It is so hard for me to wrap my head around this thought. It will be so sad, quite and empty around here if this happens. Honestly, I don't know if Dan and I have it in us to pursue another adoption if this one fails. This is so much harder then any infertility issues.

So many people have said to think positively and keep the faith. Really no matter what we think right now it is not going to change what IB decides. And we need to protect ourselves right now and plan for the worse case scenario. Don't get me wrong, I'm still praying but I just need to be prepared (as much as one can be in this situation).

IB has an appointment today (Wednesday) with a social worker at the agency. It's not with her social worker because wouldn't you know it, Raechel is on vacation during this whole thing. The one person that has been IBs sole support through this and knows all the reasons why she originally decided on an adoption plan. I just hope they keep really good notes in their files so this other social worker can provide the support IB needs right now.

Oh no! Lifetime Movie moment :(

At some point in every one's life there is a Lifetime Movie moment, you know what I'm talking about. Well mine was today. I received a call from the agency this afternoon, IB is second guessing her decision :(

This does not mean she is changing her mind yet but she wants to make sure she is making this decision for the right reasons. The agency is getting her in touch with parenting resources and another birth mom who has gone through with the adoption process to hear how it feels once it is all done. Mainly will it still hurt as bad as it does today.

She did call us last night and Dan talked with her. He said she sounded down and has been sick. I think the pressure of signing, the 10 working day/legal risk period, being sick and not seeing Briar for almost 2 weeks has gotten to her.

The agency did say that most birth moms do call within this legal risk period with doubts. I really have no clue as to how this will turn out however most Lifetime movies have a happy ending, don't they? Sorry for the light humor but it's either that or continue to cry my eyes out.

If you are the praying type we would appreciate your prayers that God will do what is right for Briar. I hope it is that he stays with us but you just never know His plan.

She Signed!

I just received a call from our Agency and IB signed the Consent for Adoption papers today.

Whoooohoooooo!!!!!!!!!

Now we just wait until September 7th when it becomes irrevocable and Briar will be ours for forever ;-)

Please send prayers our way that she does not change her mind within this timeframe.

More waiting

Well the signing did not happen today, unfortunately IB had to reschedule due to a work issue. Raechel reassured us that the reschedule had nothing to do with IB having second thoughts that it truly was a scheduling conflict and she could not make it in by the time the office closed. It has been scheduled for Friday and IB has the day off of work so there shouldn't be anything to get in the way this time, hopefully.

Milestones

We've hit a couple of milestones this weekend. This is the first weekend that IB has not came to visit Briar. There was only one week before that she did not visit him and that was after she left the hospital and Briar went to the foster moms. It feels a little odd not to see her this weekend. I do think this really shows she is making progress with moving on with her life and letting Briar do the same.

Last night Dan and I went out for our first "Date Night" and Briar got to spend the evening with Grandma Sue and Grandpa Don. He of course had a blast with them and couldn't stop talking about it after they left (LOL!). We went to a movie and then to dinner. We saw Bourne Ultimatum, which we thought was awesome. But get this, in the movie there is this top secret ops organization called "Black Briar". WHAT?! Both Dan and I looked at each other when it was said. Too weird!

I knew sooner or later this would happen, I'm getting a cold. My first sickness with having to take care of our son. I hate getting sick, especially colds cause when I get them they are really really bad! And I'm the type of person that has to load up on drugs to get through it. Well I don't think I'll be able to do that anymore. Now I know why my mom rarely was sick, she just couldn't be.

This morning Briar and I were chatting and having a fun time. He was cooing and I was cooing back. Then I was saying "hi" to him a couple times over and I swear he said it back to me! Dan was in the living room too but he was typing away on his PC so I told him and he came to listen but of course Briar got shy. I guess he only will say hi to Mommy ;-)

It's been scheduled!

FINALLY!!! The Consent signing has been scheduled for Monday August 20th at 4pm. Keep your fingers crossed for us that it does not get rescheduled. I don't think I can take much more waiting, the anxiety has been almost unbearable. The Consent does not become legally binding until 10 working days after IB signs, which I think will be September 4th since Labor Day is in there and not consider a working day. Dan did have a conversation with Raechel asking if she thought IB had any second thoughts and she said she did not think so. That she seemed happy with her decision of us being Briar's parents and has been very happy that she has been able to visit him. That was a relief off our minds.

The following pictures are not to be taken lightly. This is what happens when you don't tend to your garden more then once a week!

Gasps!

How am I suppose to pick this toy up???

Roxie's thinking "Huh? What am I suppose to do with that?"

"Okay then, I'll just lay here and wait to see if it moves."

Time Flies!

We are entering our 4th week with Mr Briar being a part of our family. Wow! He has changed and grown so much since that first week, every day he seems to be a bit heavier or maybe Mom's arms are getting tired (LOL!). I definitely need to start back up on the Total Gym soon.

I know everyone has been waiting anxiously for an update on the Consent papers, they have not been signed yet. Briar's birthmom (I'll use "IB" to refer to her) did try to get it scheduled last week, however Raechel was so busy and out of the office on Thursday and Friday. I'm hoping it will be this week, but we have been instructed by Raechel not to pressure IB. Which we really weren't we just asked the other week her thoughts on it and she has been ready to sign since the 2nd week. Anyway, I'll just wait for the call from Raechel saying they have been signed and will not ask IB as to status.

This week we are touring daycare centers. I have 2 already set up for Thursday and waiting for the 3rd to call us back. I really want to check out this 3rd one since our social worker takes her son there so I'm thinking it must be pretty good. I do wish though that I could be a stay at home mom (SAHM) but that won't happen unless we win the lottery or I can find a part time work from home job that pays at least half my salary. We knew that would be the case when we bought our new home last year but now that it is a reality that we have alittle one it's going to be hard to go back to work :(

Briar is doing much better with his gas issue and colic. He only has about 2 hour episodes around 7pm each night of colic, has gone down from about 4 hours. The new formula and bottles have cut down on the gas (still has alot but not severe), however can you say peeuuww and eeuuww for the poops he is now having on this formula. These usually happen when Dan is at work, lucky Daddy! The other week we bought some gas drops and have used only a couple of times so far, seems to help. I did buy some Gripe Water and a book on Baby Massage yesterday, so hopefully one or both will help with the colic.

Here are some pictures from last week.

Wild Hair Morning

Spa Time!

I'm sooooo happy!

Yes girls that is a dimple!

Aaahhhhh, Roxie's found a friend

Some good news

Today Briar's birth mom came for a visit, everything went great. We are all getting more comfortable with each other, not totally relaxed yet but that will come with time. I still can't believe how lucky we were with this match, she is such a sweet and wonderful person. I can tell though that this is hard on her but she is committed to her plans.

Before the visit Dan and I discussed that we would ask her about signing the Consent papers and actually Dan was to ask her. I instigated a few conversations where it would fit naturally into the conversation but he never mentioned it. I couldn't take the anticipation any longer so I took a deep breath and just did it! I asked her if she would have time to sign the papers this week and she said that actually she had been calling and emailing Raechel (the social worker) all last week to schedule it since she was ready to do it but Raechel has not gotten back to her. UGH!!!! Doesn't Raechel know we are holding our breath until this is done!?!?!? We of course called and left her a message regarding this. I pray she is able get it scheduled this week.

We are okay

What a terrible tragedy that happened on Wednesday night with the I-35W bridge collapsing. Dan and I were in shock watching the news. As we were watching a small storm passed over us and wouldn't you know caused our Internet service to go out which was finally fixed today. So I was not able to post until now. Our family and friends are all okay, and also Briar's birth mom, thank you God! I can't stop praying for all those that were affected or somehow touched by this tragedy. We all take things for granted and seem to think there are things in our lives that aren't fair. This really makes you put things into perspective and turn to your loved ones and say "I love you!" You just never know.

The last couple of days have been pretty hard on Briar, he is suffering from some terrible gas problems. We went to Target last night to get a different type of bottle as well as formula (one that the pediatrician recommended the other day). The bottle seems to be working, not creating extra air as he eats, and he seems to be more comfortable while feeding. However he still is having some gas and is in pain at certain times during the day. We did call Dan's sister (she's a OB/pediatric nurse) last night and she said to keep doing what we are doing and soon it should hopefully pass.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers on our adoption process. We are anxiously waiting for the birth mom to sign her Consents, once she does I will definitely post about it.

Pajama Day

I know that when I don't feel well all I want to do is put on my PJs. So today is Briar's first Pajama day. His 2 month doctor appointment was scheduled for 9:45am however they actually took us back at 9:35 am, can you believe it most doctors offices are always behind by at least 1/2 hour. Everything went great! I love the pediatrician we picked, she is super nice and has a great bed side manner (and didn't laugh at our newbie parent questions). She said that Briar is a very healthy baby. He weighed 10 lbs 6 oz and 21 1/2 inches long. Wow! He received three shots and one oral immunization and did as well as can be expected when you are only 2 months old and getting an huge needle stuck in you. Poor little guy :(

So as soon as we got home I changed him onto his Whinnie the Pooh PJs, I hope that has given him some comfort. He has been very fussy and his naps have been a bit out of sorts as well (has been making grunting and groaning sounds during his naps). I have a feeling it's going to be a very long night for him and I. So I had better lay down for a nap to prepare. Maybe I'll go put on my PJs too ;-)

One Week!

I can't believe it's been one week. In one respect it feels like Briar has been a part of our family for longer and then it seems like the time flew by! Dan had to go back to work today :( It was fun having total family bonding time, so that will be missed. However we both were getting on each other nerves towards the end of the week LOL! I will be taking 3 months leave (now only 11 weeks left) and then when I go back Dan will take his other 3 weeks. We won't have to put Briar in day care until beginning of November, yay!

Now that I'm on my own during the day and I'll also have the nights I will definitely need to learn to sleep when Briar is sleeping, instead of putzing around the house or on the Internet. I'm sure after a couple of days of barely any sleep I'll learn fast but right now I'm a newbie mom ;-)

Tomorrow we will be taking him for his 2 month check up. I'm sure he is now at least 10 lbs, he is such a little butter ball which is great considering his weight at birth. I will post an update after the appointment.

Here is a link to some hightlights from last week.