Our journey to becoming parents

Happy Forever Day!

2008-07-23T17:16:00.000-05:00

It's been a year since Briar was forever in our family, yay! It seems like it was just yesterday that we were going over to the foster Mom's to bring him home. What an amazing year it has been! Oh the things this little boy has taught us and has brought into our lives. I guess it is true "good things come to those who wait". What a little blessing Briar has been to us and we hope we are to him. Thank you God!

We are going out to dinner to celebrate and I also made a cake. Hopefully Briar will like this cake a little better then his birthday cake, we shall see. We can't forget to take a family picture, like we did when we got home with him a year ago :)

Things have been super busy so I haven't had alot of energy around posting on here. We have been concentrating on getting the basement finished, then we had our trip to Canada and then my Grandma was here for a visit and then back to the basement. YIKES! Good news is is that we are about 80% done with the basement. All that's left is grouting the tile, staining the doors and trim, installing them, laying the carpet, buying the toilet & vanity and then finding furniture. Phew! Can't wait until it is done so that Briar can have "his" own play space.

1st Father's Day

2008-06-16T20:58:00.004-05:00

You'd have to ask Dan but from what I can tell he totally enjoyed his 1st Father's day weekend.

It started with Friday night, Briar and I took him out to eat at his all time favorite restaurant Famous Dave's. Briar loved it too. Then we headed over to Lowe's to pick up Primary paint for the basement. The drywall was completed this past week so he was ready to paint, and as I have mentioned before Dan L-O-V-E-S to paint. So what a great way to start the weekend.

Saturday he mowed the grass, unlike some people, again Dan loves to mow. Yes, he is a bit odd but that's what I love about him ;) We took a family walk around the local reserve park/paths. Then he started painting the walls and ceiling in the basement. We ended Saturday evening watching an Action movie.

Sunday morning Briar decided to start the day off with a great gift, he slept in until 7am! Usually we are up right at 6am or a little before, so that was a nice surprise. I made Dan a twist on Eggs Benedict, another favorite of his. He then got to paint some more while I prepared food for a picnic. We went on an afternoon picnic to a near by park. Our first picnic as a family, here's a link to pictures. Of course the meal consisted of all of Dan's favorite picnic foods (fried chicken, homemade potato salad, chips & dip, pie). Briar had alot of fun checking out the surroundings, all the trees, grass, river, other people.....it was alot of fun!

We ended the day going to dinner over at my mom and dad's so that I could celebrate Father's day with my dad :)

Before I forget, Briar has decided to finally crawl! Of course it is his own version of it, more of a crawl walk. One foot is walking the other one is crawling. It is so darn cute! And we taught him how to do High Five, he can't get enough of it and tries hard to say it too but it's more like "dae dhat". Alot of things currently are "dhat".....aaahhhh....baby talk :)

Becoming a 1 year old

2008-06-07T08:15:00.009-05:00

So many things to do to turn 1 years old.

First you have to have a big party with lots of decorations, lots of presents that you don't really know how to open, a bunch of people googling over you and your first taste of cake. What an exhausting day!

Then there's the 1 year old professional pictures that need to be taken, it's so hard to smile that much when you are 1.

Of course you can't forget the 1 year old check up at the doctor with those stupid shots! OUCHIE!

Briar has now been initiated into a 1 year old! It was fun, exciting, exhausting and scary too.

The weekend was very busy for all of us. We took Briar to get his picture taken on Saturday, we tried the smash cake pictures but he really didn't want to have anything to do with the cake. When he touched the frosting it kind of freaked him out. Those were the last pictures they took so the pictures before turned out great! I don't have a scanner but below is a picture of Briar in his cute little suit outfit. He was just so adorable in it!

Sunday was the big day! Of course I got wrapped up in making sure everything was set for the party, taking care of the guests and Briar that I forgot to take pictures of the decorations :( We did get a few pictures during the day, click here to take a look.

The day was alittle emotional for me, thinking that our son has been in this world for a year and what an amazing blessing he is. I wish we could have been there a year ago to watch him come into this world. I did give him a special present, just from Mommy, the book A Blessing From Above. I can barely get through reading the book without crying, it is such a wonderful story.

Then on Monday he had his 1 year check up. Everything looked great, even his ears were all clear. Yay! He is 31 inches in height and weighs 21 1/2 lbs. So our little guy falls into the percentiles of being tall and skinny. The shots are always a scary thing, especially the MMR with all the controversy however we talked with our doctor, weighed all the risks and felt comfortable letting him get the shot. He of course was grumpy the rest of the day, poor little thing.

So that was his events of turning 1. This year is going to be so much fun, he is already trying, doing and saying new things. How fast they grow!

Teeth, teeth & Mama!

2008-05-26T15:09:00.014-05:00

Briar has been working on some more teeth the last week or so. His eye teeth have popped through the gums and we think a few more on the bottom may be trying to make its way. The little man has 6 (yep that's SIX) teeth before he is 1yrs old! We are taking him for 1 year pictures on Saturday and he is going to look so cute with 4 on the top and 2 on the bottom.

I'm so excited to share with you that 2 days ago he finally said Mama! And he knew exactly what he was saying and what it meant. Ahhhhh......the sweetest words ever! My smile was from here to eternity. He's been saying it a couple times a day now.

We are busily planning for his birthday party next Sunday. So much to do! We are very excited that Grandma Phoebe and Grandpa Neil will also be here for it. They haven't seen them since December and wow has he grown! We made our official first trip to Toys R Us shopping as
parents of the birthday child. Talk about overwhelming, there are so many types of toys to chose from. Luckily I did my research before hand to know the main toy we want to get him so that wasn't a problem it was when it came to the second littler toy. You'd think something that would cost around $15-20 would be easy to pick out for a 1 year old. Nope, it took us about an hour to decide. Let's hope toy shopping gets easier as time goes by cause neither Dan nor I are individuals that enjoy shopping.

If you look closely you can see one of my eye teeth.

Okay. Here, now can you see it?

Yes I know Ladies, you'd kill for eye lashes like mine! (click to enlarge picture for full effect)

Elvis who?

Bitter Sweet

2008-05-14T20:09:00.013-05:00

I wish I could say Mother's Day was everything I'd imagined it would be however it was bitter sweet for me. It was a great day and Dan did a wonderful job of planning an event, buying flowers and cards; A+ all the way! The only thing was that Briar was not able to go with us on the event, which was a Mother's Day brunch train ride down the St Croix valley. He unfortunately was recovery from pink eye and another ear infection. Yep, he got pink eye pretty bad on Saturday afternoon and when we went in to get meds for that he was also diagnosed with his 5th ear infection in his left ear. UGH!

We waited until Sunday morning to decide if he would be able to join us on the ride but he was pretty cranky and also had a slight fever so we called my parents and they were kind enough to come watch him while we went. I of course was pretty sad during most of the ride and before we boarded I was even crying. My first Mother's Day and I wasn't able to enjoy it to its fullest with my Son :(

Dan took a few pictures of the train and he actually captured me in one, thank goodness it is the back side of me cause this was when I was crying.

As for Briar's first hair cut, he did great! No crying or fussing. However it could be that he wasn't feeling the greatest so he just went with the flow. It was actually during the hair cut that the pink eye started to become obvious. Here's a link to the pictures of the big event.

There's not much of the baby look left with his new hair cut, that's a little bitter sweet as well. He's also not looking the greatest cause his eye's are pretty puffy from the pink eye, even so he is still so adorable!

Weekend of First's

2008-05-09T11:45:00.004-05:00

A couple of first are taking place this weekend :)

Briar is getting his first hair cut on Saturday and Sunday will be my first Mother's day!

I'm alittle nervous about Briar's first hair cut, I hope he doesn't get too scared. We are taking him to my stylist, she is awesome! Plus he might find her familiar since her sister works at Briar's daycare in the front office and sometimes "steels" Briar to cuddle him up or feed him (we did not find this out until after he starting going there, it was a nice surprise!).

Ask me what we are doing for Mother's day.....I don't know, it's a surprise. Dan has something planned and all I know is that we need to be ready to leave the house by 8:30am and will probably get back home around 1pm. Whatever it is I just hope that Briar will be able to take his morning nap otherwise we will have a cranky little boy on our hands ;-) Dan has told me that we will all have alot of fun. Stay tuned!

Update on our weekend away ~ It was okay, the weather wasn't the best and my back seized up the day before we left so I was in a bit of pain. However the place we stayed at had a pool and hot tub so we spent alot of time there and we had it to ourselves which was great. The weekend was a bit boring but I just think it seemed that way because we have so much always going on. It was nice to spend some one on one time with Dan without interruptions. We were anxious though on Sunday to get back home to see Briar and of course Roxie too!

1 month away

2008-05-01T20:36:00.004-05:00

I can't believe that in one month we will be celebrating Briar's 1st birthday. Wow, where did the year ago???

I ordered the party supplies today on-line. We have decided on a puppy theme, it is super adorable! Can't wait to post pictures of everything decorated. Of course I'm going over board, but heck isn't that what you are suppose to do for the 1st birthday? Not to mention it is his Golden birthday as well. So I say it's totally okay to go crazy!

Well Dan and I are taking a big step this weekend, we are going away just the two of us. My mom and dad will be watching Briar. I was so excited about this a month ago but now I'm extremely nervous. Not about my parents baby sitting Briar, they will do great. It's us missing Briar so much and not enjoying ourselves that I'm worried about. Let's hope we can concentrate on us and have fun. Of course with several phone calls in between ;)

Crawl. No walk. No run!

2008-04-25T07:52:00.008-05:00

Our little guy has decided that he wants to skip crawling all together and possibly even walking. As soon as he sits down on the floor all he wants us to do is hold out our hands so that he can pull himself up to walk around (and if we don't, tantrum time!). Half the time though once he is up he just speeds away, almost tripping over himself cause he is going so fast. It is just an amazing time right now and it is so wonderful to see him so happy. When he is walking around he smiles from ear to ear and loves checking out all the "new" stuff to look at. He also just loves hanging out standing at the coffee table, couch or one of his learn and play stand toys.

On Tuesday he pulled himself up (with no help) using the coffee table! I missed seeing it the first time, Dan was there and it was my turn to cook dinner, but I ran over to see him do it a second time. Everyone has been telling us not to rush him crawling or walking around, to enjoy the time we have before we have to monitor him all the time. But you know what, we have waited a very long time for this little guy to be in our lives we absolutely love having to have to watch him all the time!!!! Not a day goes by that I am amazed he is in our life, I still feel like it is a dream.

Last weekend I packed away all of his cloths that don't fit anymore. Oh my! Those newborn cloths, so adorable and so little. Just looking at them made me want another ASAP!

Look closely and you will see my top tooth!

God Bless!

2008-04-09T19:44:00.003-05:00

Sunday was Briar's baptism, everything was wonderful even though it was down pouring. What a beautiful service the Priest performed and Briar was pretty good through out it considering he decided he did not want to take a morning nap before hand. It was at 12:30pm, after all the normal Sunday masses and there were four other babies being baptized.

We had a small group in attendance; my parents, my sis (God Mom) and her family, Ron (God Father), Lance and Evan (Lance's son), Jill, and IB and her boyfriend came. I thought it was just the right size crowd for the celebration. Everyone came over to our house afterwards for lunch and I couldn't believe that Briar lasted until 2:30pm before he had had enough and needed to take a nap. He is just like his Mommy, might be dead dog tired but doesn't want to miss a thing (LOL!) so will try to stay up as long as he can.

Briar thought this was alot of fun!

You can't tell in the picture but Briar was just fascinated by the Priest every time he came close to him.

Look closely (or click pic to enlarge)...you might be able to see that Ron is holding back the tears (the red nose is a give away!)

The "Parents" with the little cutie pie!

Briar couldn't stop staring at Uncle John, seriously is was for about 5 minutes!

Pancakes didn't make the cut

2008-03-30T15:35:00.003-05:00

Well we finally found the one food that Briar doesn't like, it's pancakes. Can you believe it?! I thought for sure he would like them since so far he has like everything we have given to him. I gave him a small piece this morning and he got this funny look on his face when he picked it up to put it in his mouth. Once he had it in his mouth he started to cry, big time, really tears and all. Mommy had to go in and fish it out. We tried one more time and same thing, he wasn't having any of it. I'm sure one day he will love them, once we are able to put some syrup on them ;-)

His top front left tooth has just cut through the surface, we can see a small bit of white. Let me tell you the last week has been touch and go with that one. He also has another ear infection, poor little guy! The doctor put him on a different med this time, since the last infection was only a few weeks ago and the doctor wasn't sure if it just never cleared up with the other med or not. Anyway, I wish the doctor would have told us about one of the side effects of this med, it turns his poop a rust/brick red color. Yes, yes....there was some freaking out going on at our house the first time we saw it. I just hope the ear infection clears up and hopefully on a short break from teething before next Sunday, his baptism.

Do you want to know something?

Come closer....

Look no boogers!

He, he, he!

I'm here!

2008-03-14T07:53:00.022-05:00

I've heard from several friends and family members about my lack of posting. I'm sorry I haven't posted in forever. Really I am a bit embarrassed about it. It's just that time goes so fast now with a little one. And really I'd prefer to spend quality time with Briar then post on my blog ;-)

However with that said we all know that Briar can't be awake 24/7 so there is down time when I can take a few minutes to provide updates on here. So I am going to try my best to get back in the habit. Really, I will try!

There is so much to update on!

First, the holidays where wonderful!!! It was everything we expected and more. It was not your typical first Christmas either. We invited IB to both Christmas eve and day. The family that she does have here in MN has not been very kind to her since she decided to follow through on the adoption plans with Briar, so we invited her since we did not want her to spend Christmas alone. My family was finally able to meet her on Christmas day, which I think went pretty good.

Briar started eating meats in January and LOVES them! I have also started to make most of his food (meats and veggies). It is so simple and easy! I have a great recipe book, Top 100 Baby Purees , both Dan and I are pretty jealous at how good his food tastes LOL! Here are some pictures of Briar from January.

Dan's birthday was on February 5th. Unfortunately we all were recovering from a cold. Briar was the first to get and then Daddy and Mommy. We did have to take Briar in and turned out he had just the start of Pneumonia, we caught it right at the beginning. Briar and I were able though to make Daddy a birthday cake, which Daddy gobbled up! Here are some pictures.

Then a couple days later we all ended up with the Flu. That was so difficult, both Dan and I were out of commission (this was the both ends Flu, UGH!). Thank goodness it was on a Saturday when it started, I call Ron and Lance over to help watch Briar. Thankfully Briar didn't have it as bad as us, he wasn't vomiting. I think being on the antibiotic for the Pneumonia helped protected him. I was so thankful to Ron and Lance for coming to help us. Unfortunately Ron ended up getting the same Flu the next day :( I felt pretty bad about that.

In the midst of all the sicknesses Briar's first tooth came in! His bottom front. I tried to take some pictures of it, look closely and you will see it! Both of his bottom front are now in and the doctor said he is working on his top front.

Briar had his 9 month check up a couple weeks ago. 9 months!!! Can you believe it? He is getting to be a little boy! He weighed 19 lbs and was 28 inches. So he is tall and skinny for his age group. The doctor said everything looks great!

He hasn't started crawling yet, we are working on that but he will soon enough. He loves standing and would prefer that to sitting or laying down, of course with our help. He has said Dada, Daddy and Hi, but not sure if he realizes what he is actually saying just yet. Every week day I can't wait to go pick him up from daycare. He is the light of my life! I can't get enough of hugging him up!

I think the next few months are going to go by very quickly. First we have Easter and then we have Briar's baptism on April 6th. We are also finishing our basement, just started last week so that will keep us occupied for the next few months. And then before we know it it will be June 1st and Briar's 1st birthday! Wow!

A side note on the basement. I received a nice bonus this year and we thought about putting it towards our next adoption, going in "The Book" this summer but decided we had better start to finish the basement first since we will definitely need the room if we had 2 little ones. I'm alittle sad that we will need to wait a bit longer to pursue adoption again but it will be worth it to have the extra space. When the time is right God will find a way for us to have the money for our next adoption, I have faith!

Isn't this the cutest boy you have ever seen?!?!

We Finalized!

2007-12-24T08:57:00.000-06:00

Wow, has it really been over a month since my last post (oops!). It is just so busy with the holidays and a little one in the house. Loving every minute of it though!

We got the best Christmas present, we were able to finalize the adoption this year. It happened so fast. We received the letter from the court on a Monday to call to schedule and after a couple days of phone tag, on the Thursday, Dan spoke with the clerk and they had a last minute opening the next day! So on December 14th at 1:45pm CST Briar was officially forever ours! Since it happened so fast we weren't able to plan anything special for afterwards. And I also had to get ahold of my parents, they were out of town, to let them know it was scheduled. They were obviously very excited and were able to make it back for the event. Here are some photos

So Many Updates

2007-11-21T08:46:00.000-06:00

I'm so behind on my posts, oops! The time just goes by so fast and just when I think I have time to post I remember I have to do something or I'm just so tired and need to go to bed. No, I'm not complaining, in fact loving every minute of my life right now!

This is Briar's 3rd week of daycare and he has adjusted extremely well. No issues, eats and sleeps well there and no fussing when we leave. He is just the happiest baby I've ever seen. We are so lucky. Mommy and Daddy on the other hand had a hard time adjusting to daycare but I think we have finally figured out our morning routine and getting things ready.

We turned in our paperwork to our agency for the finalization. The agency first has to do yet another background check (Goodness! I think this is the 4th one to date) and then they will send the paperwork to the Court. Once the Court receives and does their thing they will inform us we can schedule our hearing. It's a long shot but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it is before the end of the year. I know my parents want to be here for it and they leave a few days after Christmas for their stint down in Florida.

It finally happened, our little guy got a cold. He made it to almost 6 months and it wasn't even from daycare, he got it from Daddy :( Even when he is sick he is still a happy little boy. It started this last Saturday and hasn't been too bad of a cold, he seems to be getting better but of course Mommy also came down with it on Monday. We should all be recovered by Turkey day.

One last update I'd like to give. Dan did a wonderful job for my birthday! He really did pull through this year. Briar and him even baked a cake and decorated it for me (okay Briar just sat in his bouncy chair and directed Daddy on what to do). Briar also picked out a beautiful Circle of Love necklace for me and even signed the card! Here is a link to some of my birthday pictures.

I'm a little pumpkin....

2007-11-01T16:35:00.000-05:00

Briar's first Halloween was very exciting! He sported a festive outfit for the day and then wore his costume for alittle over an hour at night. He also had a few visitors so that he didn't have to go out for his Trick or Treating. Grandpa and Grandma came over first and then Ron and Lance stopped by as well. It was a nice little Halloween party at our house! Below are a few of the pictures, if you'd like to see all click here.

Almost back in the swing of things

2007-10-29T15:43:00.000-05:00

Has it really been almost 2 weeks since last I posted?! Wow, time is going by fast and now that I'm back to work there isn't enough time for everything. We are frantically trying to get things ready for daycare and getting ready for the cold weather. We are almost there but still need to buy a winter coat for the little guy.

Last week was hard, it was my first full week back to work. I'm getting back into the swing of things but my brain still feels like mush LOL! I have heard rumors though that once you are a Mom you lose some of your smarts, oh no :(

This week is a short week for me at work, I'm taking my birthday (Nov 1st) and the 2nd off. Usually I dread my birthday but not this year it is special, my first one being a Mommy!!!! I had to explain to Dan the other day that he is going to have to help Briar with picking out a gift for me and card until he is old enough to do himself. Good thing I mentioned it cause it sure sounded like Dan had no idea this is how it works. Geesh, men!

We finally got the proofs of the photo session we had in September. The pictures are wonderful and Briar is so adorable! Not sure if I mentioned this but we went through Celebrating Adoption and found our photographer, she is in St. Micheal and did just a wonderful job! Here is a link to our slideshow, this link might only work until Nov 3rd so I will attach a couple of the photos (shhhhh, don't tell anyone).

Back to work

2007-10-17T17:57:00.000-05:00

It was my first day back to work today. All I could do was think about Briar and stare at the pictures of him I brought with me. UGH! My boss was so sweet she said I could leave at Noon if I wanted to. I probably should have but didn't. I wanted to give Dan his time with Briar and also I need to get use to being at work. I did leave about 30 minutes early though. When I got home I got a better reception from Roxie then Briar. I don't think he even knew I was gone all day :(

The day I'm truly dreading is Nov 5th when he starts daycare. That will be the hardest morning ever for me!

We survived!

2007-10-16T15:17:00.000-05:00

We got back from our trip last night around 8:30pm. It was so good to be home and sleep in our own beds! Briar was a good little traveler, he did better then we all expected him to. It wasn't until the trip back when he had a true meltdown and just needed to take more then a couple minute break from his car seat. We were about 3 hours from home and luckly only a few miles from a rest stop. We walk around outside for quite awhile, until it started to rain and then just hung out in the van for a bit. Those last 3 hours were pretty tough for the little guy, we did stop for dinner and let him stretch out on the booth beside us. As soon as were were about a mile from home he started to have another meltdown. His face lit up once he saw he was back in his house and out of his car seat. He was such a trooper!

I think my Mom and Dad should be Sainted for having endured 26 hours in the car with a 4 month old and new parents! They definitely have earned up enough bonus points to spoil their Grandson rotten for a couple years to come without Mom & Dad telling them no, LOL!!!

My Grandma's 90th birthday celebration was so much fun! I'm so glad we were able to make it down there, I know it meant the world to her. Briar fell in love with her right away (well after he had his diaper changed, we arrived with a poopy diaper and he wasn't to happy). He usually doesn't like to just hang out on your lap but he loved it with Great Grandma (see pics below). He was a big hit with everyone and there seemed to always be a line up for holding him. He did great with being around approx 50 people, I have a feeling he's going to be quite the little "ham" and attention getter. I can't wait!

Oye Vay!

2007-10-11T23:24:00.000-05:00

It's almost 11:30PM and I think I'm done packing for our trip. I had to pack for both Briar, myself and get things ready for Roxie to go to Jill's and Ron's this weekend. OH MY! That is alot of work, UGH! And I'm sure I have forgotten something. By the time I am finally able to go to bed and get into a deep sleep Mr Briar will probably decide he needs to fuss. Well at least there are 4 adults to help drive tomorrow so hopefully I can nap. However I'm not a very good car napper. It's a curse of us people that always feel the need to be in control. Well I best sign off and get to bed cause 5am will be here before I know it. I so wish we had the money to fly but at $500 per person I just couldn't justify it.

Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go!

One week left

2007-10-10T11:11:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I only have one week left of staying at home with Briar. I go back on October 17th. Wow, did that time go by fast!!!! I've been a bit depressed the last two weeks in anticipation of going back to work but it will be good to be around adults again. I can't wait for Dan to have his 3 weeks with Briar, I just hope Briar isn't too attached to me and will be good for Daddy.

We did start him on rice cereal last week. Its' going pretty good so far. We are only giving it to him once a day so he can get use to it and will increase to twice a day in a few weeks. Here is a link to pictures of his first taste. Too cute!

We are taking our first official trip with Briar this weekend. And it is a big one, yikes! We are driving down to Oklahoma for my Grandma's 90th birthday. It's about 13 hour drive, oh boy. We will be going with my Mom and Dad in their minivan which should be a bit more comfortable. Briar does good in the car, usually falls asleep so hopefully he will do okay. We are stopping in Wichita on Friday night to stay with my Uncle and Aunt, that's only about 9 hours, then head down to OK on Saturday morning. However coming home on Monday it will be straight through. Wish us luck!!!

We decided not to take Roxie with us, that would just be way too much. So Ron and Jill have offered to doggie sit, thank goodness! I can't stand the idea of boarding her. Of course she needs to look her best for her weekend retreat so we got her hair cut the other day (usually I trim her at home) at Petsmart and when she came home she had bows in her hair. She didn't look too happy about it, she really isn't a girlie girl. Check it out:

4 months

2007-10-01T22:24:00.000-05:00

I can't believe our little guy is 4 months old today! And that I only have 2 more weeks left of my leave :( I'm already starting to stress about going back to work. I'm going to miss him soooooo much! I don't know how I will get through it.

We had our 4 month check up and shots today. Briar is growing like a weed, check out his status from 2 months ago compare to now and the progress he has made for the percentile groups:

2 month ago
Height - 21 inches, 5 %
Weight - 10lbs 6 oz, 10-25 %
Head size - 38.4 cm, 25 %

4 months (today)
Height - 24 inches, 50-75%
Weight - 14 lbs, 25-50%
Head size - 41.5 cm, 25-50%

What really surprised me was his height, jumping from the 5th percentile to the 50th-75th percentile in only two months. This makes me think he is going to be a tall one! Only time will tell. We also got the green like to start with Rice Cereal if we wanted, I'm not sure yet.

He didn't do so well this time with the shots. He cried so hard and many, many tears came streaming down his face. We had to wait in the room for a bit before we could leave. All day he has been out of sort, cranky and only taking a few minute naps here and there. I feel so bad for him, just wish I could take his pain away. We gave him his bath earlier then normal and fed him and put him to bed before 8pm. I'm sure he will wake up mid way through the night, oh well.

Briar's first party

2007-09-24T22:42:00.000-05:00

Briar attended his first party on Sunday which he was the guest of honor! We had a "welcome to the family" celebration, we opted for this in lieu of a traditional baby shower, which was alot of fun! Dan and I were amazed at the turn out and were so touched by the support and love we felt from everyone. We are so lucky to have such wonderful people in our lives and now a part of Briar's life as well. During the party I took a step back and just took everything in, what a truly happy time in our lives. I felt so filled with life and so blessed that we can now share in "family" event with friends, participate in play dates and just talk about parenting techniques with all of our friends that have children. We've waited so long for this, I just don't ever want it to end!

I want to send a special thank you out to my Mom(Sue), Jill, Kerri and Ron for hosting this event for us. They did such a fabulous job with everything! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Also a big THANK YOU to all our family and friends who attended and/or sent their well wishes!

Firsts

2007-09-20T07:48:00.000-05:00

This last week has been filled with firsts! So I thought I would share these:

We sent out our first ever baby announcement! I thought this day would never come, it was so great to put these in the mail. (Those in Canada, they have been mailed but we all know how slow postal mail can be.)

Briar has slept through the night! Offically the first time was on September 6th but this past week he has done it 3 times!!!! On Saturday, Tuesday and Wednesday. He goes down at 10pm and wakes up at 5am. Mommy is so happy :)

IB came for a visit on Sunday. Our first visit were we were officially the parents of Briar and not her. It was a great visit and he was very awake and talkative with her. It was wonderful to see him interact with her, they definitely have a special connection.

We went for our first visit to Mommy's work on Monday and was very well behaved. Everyone just loved him and thought he was just the cutest thing ;-)

Briar had his first almost successful thumb sucking on Monday (see picture below) and then last night he actually was successful for about 1 minute. I was not able to capture that Kodak moment :(

Mommy and Briar spent our first night alone without Daddy in the house :( Dan is gone on a business trip to CA, he will be back on Friday afternoon. It went pretty good, however I think Briar could tell something was different since he woke up at 2am for a feeding and was up for the day at 6am. I guess he thought Mommy was lonely and needed his company ;-)

And last but not least, Briar did his first blowing of a Raspberry last night! He has been pretty good about getting the spit built up for a couple of weeks but last night was the first time he actually did the full blown (ha ha ha) Raspberry.

So there you have it, my little guy is starting to grow up. What a wonderful year this is going to be for us!

(I just had to add a few other pictures besides the thumb sucking)

A weeks gone by

2007-09-14T11:27:00.000-05:00

Has it already been a week since I was pacing the floor and jumping every time the phone rang?! Wow, this week has gone by so fast! Now that I don't have the fear of Briar leaving us I can enjoy every single minute with him without wondering if it is my last. All week I've been hugging and kissing him every chance I get (he probably feels smothered, LOL!). I can't get enough of looking into his eyes and face, he is just so beautiful and what a blessing!

He is starting to coo a lot more, he loves carrying on a conversation with me and thinks it is just so much fun. I just wish I knew what he was saying! He loves to smile and has giggled once for me, it was so cute! He is now down to only one feeding in the middle of the night. YAY!!!! And is finally on a set schedule which is just wonderful.

Grandma and Grandpa are going to baby sit again on Saturday night so we can have a date night. My mom offered the other day and I said I would have to check with Dan. When I asked Dan he said "Why are you asking me? When ever they offer to baby sit we should always say Yes!" It was one of those rare moments where Dan made sense and I wasn't thinking straight, he was pretty happy with himself for that one! Now we just need to find something to do on Saturday night.

100% ours

2007-09-08T16:10:00.000-05:00

It's been almost 24 hours that Briar has been 100% ours! It still hasn't sunk in fully. I think it will once Raechel calls on Monday to Congratulate us.

We went out for a celebratory breakfast, unfortunately Briar probably didn't know since he was asleep. However Mommy and Daddy sure did enjoy it! Especially Daddy, he is a big breakfast fan. I can see it now, Briar and Daddy ganging up on Mommy to go to breakfast when all she wants to do is get an extra hour of sleep.

Today the words Mommy and Daddy certainly took on a whole new feeling for Dan and me, now when we say them to Briar it is 100% true! Can you see me smiling from ear to ear?????

What time is it?!?!

2007-09-07T20:38:00.000-05:00

Not Morris Day and The Time! However, now I have their song in my head ......aawwwhhh the days of Prince and the Purple Rain ;-)

It is 9:00pm CST and we have not heard anything! This is great news since the other day Raechel said that no news is good news. That she would not call us tonight unless IB revoked. It has now been 4 hours since the deadline and I would think we would have heard something by now if she had.

Dan and I think it is pretty safe to say that Briar is forever our Son! We have already started our family celebration :)

Thank you! To every single person who took the time to say a prayer for us, no matter how short or long, God has heard us all and granted Dan and me this wonderful blessing.

I wasn't expected, I was selected!

please stop ringing

2007-09-07T12:55:00.000-05:00

UGH! Would the phone please stop ringing today! I've had at least 5 phone calls so far today, which is out of the norm around here. The nerve of people to call today, especially a certain best friend (not to mention names, oh but I have too! Ron) who wasn't thinking. I don't know if I can handle having my stomach up in my throat anymore today.

Only a few more hours to get through. I can do this, I know I can. It must be like labor but without the physical pain, waiting anxiously for good news.

P.S. You know I forgive you Ronnie! ;-)

Events over the last few days

2007-09-06T08:39:00.000-05:00

A couple things have happened over the last few days. We did hear from IB the other evening that she was able to get a hold of her Mom. She said the conversation went pretty good, once she was able to talk with her. The first call the Mom did not answer so IB tried the next day. She said that her Mom was mad that she did not tell her about her pregnancy but that she will support IB in whatever she decides to do (parent or adoption). The fact that this is an open adoption really helped her to not be closed to this option; that she can meet and be a part of Briar's life. I could tell when I was talking with IB how relieved she felt but also got the sense that now she might be considering parenting.

IB also asked if she could take Briar for a visit with the Aunt. We of course could not say no since we are in the legal risk period; not that we would have anyway but we are just concerned that the Aunt will continue to pressure her to parent and try to make her feel guilty about her decision. When she dropped him off we asked how it went she said "good", however we were not sure if that had meant he was good or that the Aunt wasn't giving her a hard time. Briar started to fuss so we didn't talk long.

Then last night we received a call from Raechel....FINALLY!!!!! She was able to connect with IB yesterday to discuss how things were going and how she felt. Raechel said that she sounded like a different person and very happy. I had to know, so I straight out asked Raechel if IB was thinking about parenting or going through with her adoption plan. She said that IB was planning on going through with the adoption. WAIT....don't get too excited just yet. As we know from past history (previous failed match) we should not always put 100% faith in what social workers say, since people can change their minds.

I am feeling pretty good though, I would have to say I'm about 80% confident that this adoption will happen(this is pretty good coming from the girl who's glass is always half empty, LOL!). IB has until 5pm on Friday to revoke, so if we don't hear from the agency on Friday evening (I would give them until 6pm to call us, if she revokes) Briar is ours forever!!!!

Please keep sending those prayers our way until Friday evening. THANKS!!!!!

New twist

2007-09-03T08:02:00.000-05:00

Our meeting with IB yesterday went great! The discussions were very heart felt, open and honest. At times I teared up and so did IB. She stayed for almost 4 hours and Briar was awake for the majority which I know IB just loved. We did give her a white gold pendant, it is a shape of a heart and key. We wanted her to have something to reminder her of Briar and the importance she has in his life; that he is the key to her heart. She did give us both hugs when she left, which was a good sign.

However we did find out that now there is an added twist to her decision process. I think I had mentioned this before, IB kept her pregnancy a secret and moved away from her immediate family (several states away). She does have an Aunt who lives here in MN and she was able to hide it from her as well. However some how the Aunt found out (IB thinks it was her roommate snooping) and is not supportive at all of IB's adoption plan. The Aunt decided to intervene and called IBs Mom. So now IB has the added stress of having to face her Mom about Briar and her decision.

We did ask if this will change her mind, she sounded somewhat firm in her decision to move forward with the adoption. However we all know what family pressure can be like and she could succumb to their request to parent him.

If the family wasn't involved I would say that I was 99% confident she will go through with the adoption after yesterday's visit. But they are involved so it's a 50/50 shot.

Still holding breath

2007-09-01T10:57:00.000-05:00

Briar is still with us :)

We did get some more information yesterday from Raechel, IBs social worker (she is back from vacation thank goodness). Raechel spoke with the other social worker that IB met with on Wednesday. Apparently IB has concerns about our openness relationship and how it will look in the future. Currently it has been pretty formal however she would like it to be more open and us sharing more information on how things are going with Briar. We totally agree! However every time she has come to visit she has brought a friend which is very hard to open up when there is a third person there.

She also wants to hear more from me, how I'm doing with bonding with Briar. I guess I've been holding back in fear that I would hurt her or make her feel bad if I shared too much on how things were going for me and him. Time to start opening up!

She knows in her heart it would be hard for her to parent Briar since all she really has to offer him is love. She is struggling with the question of "is that enough" and what really will be her future role if we parent him.

She did call last night and she is coming over on Sunday for a visit to discuss these things. We found out also that Raechel did not connect with her yesterday and when we told IB that we talked with Raechel yesterday she sounded surprised/disappointed (that she didn't get to talk with her but we did). We are pretty pissed that Raechel did not make it priority to connect with IB especially since she sounded pretty depressed. Raechel has been IBs sole support and I would think no matter how busy she is that it is her job to check in with her even if she had to do it after hours.

Anyway, this is somewhat encouraging but we are still holding our breath and need to see how Sunday goes.

Scary thought

2007-08-29T04:05:00.000-05:00

It dawned on me late last night that by this weekend we may not have Briar in our lives any more :( It is so hard for me to wrap my head around this thought. It will be so sad, quite and empty around here if this happens. Honestly, I don't know if Dan and I have it in us to pursue another adoption if this one fails. This is so much harder then any infertility issues.

So many people have said to think positively and keep the faith. Really no matter what we think right now it is not going to change what IB decides. And we need to protect ourselves right now and plan for the worse case scenario. Don't get me wrong, I'm still praying but I just need to be prepared (as much as one can be in this situation).

IB has an appointment today (Wednesday) with a social worker at the agency. It's not with her social worker because wouldn't you know it, Raechel is on vacation during this whole thing. The one person that has been IBs sole support through this and knows all the reasons why she originally decided on an adoption plan. I just hope they keep really good notes in their files so this other social worker can provide the support IB needs right now.

Oh no! Lifetime Movie moment :(

2007-08-27T17:14:00.000-05:00

At some point in every one's life there is a Lifetime Movie moment, you know what I'm talking about. Well mine was today. I received a call from the agency this afternoon, IB is second guessing her decision :(

This does not mean she is changing her mind yet but she wants to make sure she is making this decision for the right reasons. The agency is getting her in touch with parenting resources and another birth mom who has gone through with the adoption process to hear how it feels once it is all done. Mainly will it still hurt as bad as it does today.

She did call us last night and Dan talked with her. He said she sounded down and has been sick. I think the pressure of signing, the 10 working day/legal risk period, being sick and not seeing Briar for almost 2 weeks has gotten to her.

The agency did say that most birth moms do call within this legal risk period with doubts. I really have no clue as to how this will turn out however most Lifetime movies have a happy ending, don't they? Sorry for the light humor but it's either that or continue to cry my eyes out.

If you are the praying type we would appreciate your prayers that God will do what is right for Briar. I hope it is that he stays with us but you just never know His plan.

She Signed!

2007-08-23T16:57:00.000-05:00

I just received a call from our Agency and IB signed the Consent for Adoption papers today.

Whoooohoooooo!!!!!!!!!

Now we just wait until September 7th when it becomes irrevocable and Briar will be ours for forever ;-)

Please send prayers our way that she does not change her mind within this timeframe.

More waiting

2007-08-20T19:16:00.000-05:00

Well the signing did not happen today, unfortunately IB had to reschedule due to a work issue. Raechel reassured us that the reschedule had nothing to do with IB having second thoughts that it truly was a scheduling conflict and she could not make it in by the time the office closed. It has been scheduled for Friday and IB has the day off of work so there shouldn't be anything to get in the way this time, hopefully.

Milestones

2007-08-19T14:32:00.000-05:00

We've hit a couple of milestones this weekend. This is the first weekend that IB has not came to visit Briar. There was only one week before that she did not visit him and that was after she left the hospital and Briar went to the foster moms. It feels a little odd not to see her this weekend. I do think this really shows she is making progress with moving on with her life and letting Briar do the same.

Last night Dan and I went out for our first "Date Night" and Briar got to spend the evening with Grandma Sue and Grandpa Don. He of course had a blast with them and couldn't stop talking about it after they left (LOL!). We went to a movie and then to dinner. We saw Bourne Ultimatum, which we thought was awesome. But get this, in the movie there is this top secret ops organization called "Black Briar". WHAT?! Both Dan and I looked at each other when it was said. Too weird!

I knew sooner or later this would happen, I'm getting a cold. My first sickness with having to take care of our son. I hate getting sick, especially colds cause when I get them they are really really bad! And I'm the type of person that has to load up on drugs to get through it. Well I don't think I'll be able to do that anymore. Now I know why my mom rarely was sick, she just couldn't be.

This morning Briar and I were chatting and having a fun time. He was cooing and I was cooing back. Then I was saying "hi" to him a couple times over and I swear he said it back to me! Dan was in the living room too but he was typing away on his PC so I told him and he came to listen but of course Briar got shy. I guess he only will say hi to Mommy ;-)

It's been scheduled!

2007-08-16T20:02:00.000-05:00

FINALLY!!! The Consent signing has been scheduled for Monday August 20th at 4pm. Keep your fingers crossed for us that it does not get rescheduled. I don't think I can take much more waiting, the anxiety has been almost unbearable. The Consent does not become legally binding until 10 working days after IB signs, which I think will be September 4th since Labor Day is in there and not consider a working day. Dan did have a conversation with Raechel asking if she thought IB had any second thoughts and she said she did not think so. That she seemed happy with her decision of us being Briar's parents and has been very happy that she has been able to visit him. That was a relief off our minds.

The following pictures are not to be taken lightly. This is what happens when you don't tend to your garden more then once a week!

Gasps!

How am I suppose to pick this toy up???

Roxie's thinking "Huh? What am I suppose to do with that?"

"Okay then, I'll just lay here and wait to see if it moves."

Time Flies!

2007-08-13T10:37:00.000-05:00

We are entering our 4th week with Mr Briar being a part of our family. Wow! He has changed and grown so much since that first week, every day he seems to be a bit heavier or maybe Mom's arms are getting tired (LOL!). I definitely need to start back up on the Total Gym soon.

I know everyone has been waiting anxiously for an update on the Consent papers, they have not been signed yet. Briar's birthmom (I'll use "IB" to refer to her) did try to get it scheduled last week, however Raechel was so busy and out of the office on Thursday and Friday. I'm hoping it will be this week, but we have been instructed by Raechel not to pressure IB. Which we really weren't we just asked the other week her thoughts on it and she has been ready to sign since the 2nd week. Anyway, I'll just wait for the call from Raechel saying they have been signed and will not ask IB as to status.

This week we are touring daycare centers. I have 2 already set up for Thursday and waiting for the 3rd to call us back. I really want to check out this 3rd one since our social worker takes her son there so I'm thinking it must be pretty good. I do wish though that I could be a stay at home mom (SAHM) but that won't happen unless we win the lottery or I can find a part time work from home job that pays at least half my salary. We knew that would be the case when we bought our new home last year but now that it is a reality that we have alittle one it's going to be hard to go back to work :(

Briar is doing much better with his gas issue and colic. He only has about 2 hour episodes around 7pm each night of colic, has gone down from about 4 hours. The new formula and bottles have cut down on the gas (still has alot but not severe), however can you say peeuuww and eeuuww for the poops he is now having on this formula. These usually happen when Dan is at work, lucky Daddy! The other week we bought some gas drops and have used only a couple of times so far, seems to help. I did buy some Gripe Water and a book on Baby Massage yesterday, so hopefully one or both will help with the colic.

Here are some pictures from last week.

Wild Hair Morning

Spa Time!

I'm sooooo happy!

Yes girls that is a dimple!

Aaahhhhh, Roxie's found a friend

Some good news

2007-08-05T20:23:00.000-05:00

Today Briar's birth mom came for a visit, everything went great. We are all getting more comfortable with each other, not totally relaxed yet but that will come with time. I still can't believe how lucky we were with this match, she is such a sweet and wonderful person. I can tell though that this is hard on her but she is committed to her plans.

Before the visit Dan and I discussed that we would ask her about signing the Consent papers and actually Dan was to ask her. I instigated a few conversations where it would fit naturally into the conversation but he never mentioned it. I couldn't take the anticipation any longer so I took a deep breath and just did it! I asked her if she would have time to sign the papers this week and she said that actually she had been calling and emailing Raechel (the social worker) all last week to schedule it since she was ready to do it but Raechel has not gotten back to her. UGH!!!! Doesn't Raechel know we are holding our breath until this is done!?!?!? We of course called and left her a message regarding this. I pray she is able get it scheduled this week.

We are okay

2007-08-03T13:51:00.000-05:00

What a terrible tragedy that happened on Wednesday night with the I-35W bridge collapsing. Dan and I were in shock watching the news. As we were watching a small storm passed over us and wouldn't you know caused our Internet service to go out which was finally fixed today. So I was not able to post until now. Our family and friends are all okay, and also Briar's birth mom, thank you God! I can't stop praying for all those that were affected or somehow touched by this tragedy. We all take things for granted and seem to think there are things in our lives that aren't fair. This really makes you put things into perspective and turn to your loved ones and say "I love you!" You just never know.

The last couple of days have been pretty hard on Briar, he is suffering from some terrible gas problems. We went to Target last night to get a different type of bottle as well as formula (one that the pediatrician recommended the other day). The bottle seems to be working, not creating extra air as he eats, and he seems to be more comfortable while feeding. However he still is having some gas and is in pain at certain times during the day. We did call Dan's sister (she's a OB/pediatric nurse) last night and she said to keep doing what we are doing and soon it should hopefully pass.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers on our adoption process. We are anxiously waiting for the birth mom to sign her Consents, once she does I will definitely post about it.

Pajama Day

2007-07-31T16:27:00.000-05:00

I know that when I don't feel well all I want to do is put on my PJs. So today is Briar's first Pajama day. His 2 month doctor appointment was scheduled for 9:45am however they actually took us back at 9:35 am, can you believe it most doctors offices are always behind by at least 1/2 hour. Everything went great! I love the pediatrician we picked, she is super nice and has a great bed side manner (and didn't laugh at our newbie parent questions). She said that Briar is a very healthy baby. He weighed 10 lbs 6 oz and 21 1/2 inches long. Wow! He received three shots and one oral immunization and did as well as can be expected when you are only 2 months old and getting an huge needle stuck in you. Poor little guy :(

So as soon as we got home I changed him onto his Whinnie the Pooh PJs, I hope that has given him some comfort. He has been very fussy and his naps have been a bit out of sorts as well (has been making grunting and groaning sounds during his naps). I have a feeling it's going to be a very long night for him and I. So I had better lay down for a nap to prepare. Maybe I'll go put on my PJs too ;-)

One Week!

2007-07-30T09:56:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's been one week. In one respect it feels like Briar has been a part of our family for longer and then it seems like the time flew by! Dan had to go back to work today :( It was fun having total family bonding time, so that will be missed. However we both were getting on each other nerves towards the end of the week LOL! I will be taking 3 months leave (now only 11 weeks left) and then when I go back Dan will take his other 3 weeks. We won't have to put Briar in day care until beginning of November, yay!

Now that I'm on my own during the day and I'll also have the nights I will definitely need to learn to sleep when Briar is sleeping, instead of putzing around the house or on the Internet. I'm sure after a couple of days of barely any sleep I'll learn fast but right now I'm a newbie mom ;-)

Tomorrow we will be taking him for his 2 month check up. I'm sure he is now at least 10 lbs, he is such a little butter ball which is great considering his weight at birth. I will post an update after the appointment.

Here is a link to some hightlights from last week.

Our first offical outing

2007-07-27T18:06:00.000-05:00

We took a big step today and went on our first offical outing! We had to go to Costco to pick up formula and of course coffee ;-) We also had to buy some cloths for Briar since he wouldn't let us leave without them (oh wait, that was Dan that wouldn't leave without them LOL!). I don't even think Briar knew we left the house, he was completely out once we put him in the car seat.

We also had to stop at the police station to get finger printed once again. There was a new law passed (Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act) that any adoptions not finalized by June 30, 2007 the individuals need fingerprint-based FBI checks. The other finger prints we had done last fall are now null and void due to this law. It's a pain but we are okay with complying for the safety of children.

The last few days have flown by, can't believe it's been 4 full days since we have had Briar home with us. We are definitely getting to know him and he is starting to recognize us and our voices. He is eating on a regular schedule, every 3 to 4 hours. The other night he did sleep for 5 hours before waking up famished. He is having some problems with gas, poor little guy. We have taken him and Roxie for walks in the morning before it has gotten to hot (the last few days here in MN have been humid and hot). He seems happy and of course we are in heaven having this little one as part of our family.

My diaper bag came today, very exciting! I did my research and found one that is environmentally friendly (Fleurville Sling Tote) it is PVC-free and Teflon-Free and has great customer reviews. We like that! It can be carried 3 ways: over the shoulder as a tote, as a messenger bag, or attached to your stroller. Dan even said he wouldn't mind caring it around, however they do have a Daddy style diaper bag so if he changes his mind we might have to order it. Here's a picture of it (the rings on the side are for attaching to the stroller):

First Full Day (updated with new links)

2007-07-24T22:16:00.000-05:00

It is almost the end of our first full day with Briar, wow!
We all survived ;-) .....well not sure if Roxie has, she is a bit mopey and still wondering what the heck this little thing is that we brought home with us, LOL!

Last night went rather well and today has been good up until this evening. His bottle at 8pm has cause some serious gas and the need to burp. I think we have finally worked it out and now we are trying to tuck him in for a couple hours before his mid-night feeding.

I still feel like this is all a dream, do we truly have a son?!

Here are some links to some more pictures:
Welcome Home Briar
The Nursery

Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I'm so glad to be able to share this amazing journey through this blog.

Updated
For those that don't have an account with Kodak Gallery try these links:
Welcome Home Briar
The Nursery

Introducing....

2007-07-23T20:13:00.001-05:00

Briar Elijah

Roxie not sure what to think yet but had to check out the comfy blanket

Amazing!

2007-07-22T18:00:00.000-05:00

This is the most amazing journey ever!!! It finally hit me sitting here thinking about what to say regarding our son's visit last night. I'm over come with tears of joy! I'm truly grateful that our path led us to Adoption. It is such an amazing experience. I don't have the words to really express it right now but one day it will flow out of me.

Last night was not the easiest (and we're alittle tired), it was a long night but we all got through it and our son is okay (LOL!). We are getting to know him better, he is sensitive and demanding. He likes things on his terms and can be stubborn. I don't think the foster mom really had him on a set schedule so hopefully when we do he will be more relaxed. We'll see.

He got to meet Grandma and Grandpa today (my parents). I was so excited to introduce him and you could see the joy in their faces. We've only had girls in my family so having a grandson will be a new and exciting experience for them.

I can't wait to post a picture of him after placement tomorrow. Less then 23 hours!!!!

So Busy!

2007-07-20T15:44:00.000-05:00

OMG! There is so much to do and I feel like I'm going at super slow speed even though I know I'm not. It just dawned on me that I didn't post an update as to how yesterday went, oops!

The doctor appointment went great! Our boy is 9 lbs 2 oz and 20 inches long. I still can't believe how big he is, he's almost doubled his weight from birth. The doctor said everything looked great however the foster mom wanted to know if we should have his eyes checked since he was born at 35 weeks. He thought it would be a good idea but he didn't seem too concerned. So we need to find a pediatric ophthalmologist or he suggested that maybe a regular one could do it to just call and ask or to maybe check with our new pediatrician.

Then yesterday afternoon we met with the birth mom and social worker to discuss the Cooperative Agreement (visits, pics, contact, etc...). That meeting went great as well! I'm so glad we found someone that wants to have a very open adoption cause that is what we want too. She is so sweet and such a caring person, I can't wait to build a relationship with her.

There has been a change in plans. The birth mom is going to take him during the day on Saturday and then she will drop him off at our house to spend the night :) Then on Sunday we will take him back to the foster mom. Placement will happen on Monday at 5pm, whooohoooo!

Some of you may not know about MN law on adoption so here is a high level overview. The birth mom needs to sign Consents of Adoption, she has up to 60 days to sign these once the baby is placed (she will be signing these sometime next week). Once she signs these she has 14 days (10 business days) to revoke, on the 15th day it is irrevocable. Then we wait 90 days to finalize the adoption. So even though he is being placed with us on Monday it is not a done deal. So until the Consent is signed and we are at the 15th day after that I may not be able to breath easily. However I feel it is highly unlikely that the birth mom will change her mind, at least from what I currently know about her and also what the foster mom has said to us since she has gotten to know her pretty well. I will keep everyone posted as to progress on the Consent.

Another visit : )

2007-07-18T21:24:00.000-05:00

We saw our son again tonight, it was a wonderful visit! We spent a couple hours there and it was just us and the foster mom. He was much more awake this time and I can already see his personality coming through. He is definitely going to be head strong and as I said before a talker. He is so strong already, he is lifting his head and looking around as well as standing up as you hold him. Those little legs will definitely make good hockey skater legs (Dan is on cloud 9 of course).

We have the doctors appointment tomorrow morning and then we will meet with the social worker and the birth mom to do the Cooperative Agreement (visits, pictures, contact, etc) in the afternoon. Placement will happen on Monday. The birth mom wants one last day with him on Sunday. At first I was bummed but then the more I thought about it and talked with others it really is a good thing for her to have this and besides we will have a lifetime with him so what's another day or two.

We did ask the foster mom if we could take him on Saturday for the day and she thought that was a great idea. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!

I'm in L-O-V-E!

2007-07-15T18:45:00.000-05:00

Our son is such a cutie pie!!!! Oh my, look out class of 2025 cause he is going to be a heart breaker!!!! He has a ton of brown/black hair and has the biggest eyes, there are kind of grey brown. And he has the cutest smile ever, it is so big and he will definitely be a full smile kind of kid, showin' all gums or teeth depending on the age!

We were only there for an hour and we both got to hold him for 30 minutes each. He had just finished his bottle when we got there so he was kind of in the nap mode but every once in awhile woke up to check us out. He is also going to be a talker, he kept making jabbering noises even while asleep. The birth mom was there and both her and the foster mom were trying to provide as much info on him as possible, of course when I was holding him I was having a hard time listening to them as I was in such awe of him.

We hope to visit him again this week since both the birth mom and foster mom said it was okay. We will call tomorrow and see if Wednesday works out.

We did not take any pictures, just didn't feel right, we will wait until later this week or at placement. I felt somewhat awkward and feel bad for the birth mom, it's like I'm taking her baby away from her. Not sure if that makes any sense, I guess unless you've been in this situation it may be hard to understand what I'm feeling.

Anyway, I hope this next week goes by fast and that we are able to take placement this weekend!

It's Official

2007-07-13T18:37:00.000-05:00

We've been matched!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The social worker finally called us around 5pm, she had been playing phone tag with the birth mom all day. Didn't they both know I was waiting by the phone all day long (literally I was).

The birth mom wants to go ahead with us as the adoptive family, however she wanted us to know that when she visited the baby yesterday the foster mom made a comment that he has been quivering and hasn't been focusing. I think it is because he was born 4 weeks early (on June 1st) so technically he is only 2 weeks, so I'm sure it has to do with that. The birth mom feels guilty cause she did not have much prenatal care and would understand if we decide not to parent him. Ummmm.....that's not going to happen unless it is very very serious.

The baby has a regularly scheduled doctor appt at the agency on Thursday with a doctor that has seen him before so we have decided to keep that appt and attend. Thinking that since this Doc has seen him before he should be able to tell if something is up. We will wait to take placement until after this appt.

In the meantime the birth mom wants us to meet him this weekend on Sunday so the social worker called the foster mom to let her know and that we will be calling her to set up the time. When the social worker called us back she said that the foster mom didn't seem too concerned and said he has a sparkle in his eyes. The social worker thinks the birth mom may have read into the comments and/or misunderstood with the foster mom was saying.

I still can't believe this is happening and maybe being alittle reserved because of last time. However I'm sure once we meet our son on Sunday the flood gate will open and I'll been on cloud 9!

The Meeting

2007-07-11T19:31:00.000-05:00

The meeting went really good and it looks promising, Dan feels pretty confident. However I don't want to get my hopes up to much, you just never know what can happen. She is very smart, pretty and knows that adoption is the right choice for her baby. She wants him in a stable home with a Father and Mother, something that she did not grow up with and currently cannot provide. She asked alot of good questions and wants us all to think about this for a couple of days before a final decision is made by either of us since it is life altering. Dan and I, of course, have already made our minds up and if she asks us to parent her baby we will say yes! We should know something hopefully on Friday.

We also found out that the other couple didn't even meet with her and has been pulled from the book at the agency since they have said no to a couple of potential meetings, guess the agency wants them to really think about what they are looking for in adoption.

Is it Friday yet???? LOL!!!!

Another Placement Meeting

2007-07-03T20:38:00.000-05:00

First just want to say DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP!

Okay...really that was for me ;-)

The agency called today and we have another placement meeting with a birth mom. This one is different, it was a hospital intake. Meaning the birth mom gave birth and then the agency was contacted. The baby was born on 6/1/07, not sure of the due date but social worker said it was alittle early but not considered a preemie. At the time of birth he (yes, it is a boy!) was 4lb 14oz and healthy. He is now 6lb 150z and 18 inches long.

The birthmom chose another family but that match fell through. She has since chosen our profile and wants to meet with us. She is not under age and is originally from another state and moved here during her pregnancy. We have quite a bit of info on her and she has also provided some on the birth father, who does not want anything to do with this (he is in another state). The baby is at a foster home and the birth mom is visiting and has spent time with him. She knows though that adoption is the best choice for him.

So we are meeting with her next week on Wednesday afternoon. Here's the other thing, we are leaving for Canada on Thursday and we're suppose to be gone for over a week. Well guess what?! We are cutting our trip short, of course! If she likes us and we like her it would be an immediate placement, meaning we could be parents within 9 days, OMG!

We are trying hard not to get our hopes up. This could be the one or it might not be. However, I did have a dream a couple weeks ago that we got another call from the agency about an immediate placement. At the time I brushed it off thinking no way it will happen through the agency cause they have been so slow this year and that I only had the dream cause I want a baby so bad. Now I'm thinking it might have been sign from the guy upstairs. Maybe, just maybe it is. We will know next week.

Newspaper Ads

2007-06-26T07:55:00.000-05:00

Dan found a service (NationwideClassifieds.com) that will assist you in placing ads in almost any newspaper. All we had to do was select the papers we wanted and give them our ad and they organize with the papers to get them placed. Fast, simple and easy (we like that!). We are starting with small weekly papers here in MN - Sun Publications, Free Press, ECM Publishers and City Pages (approx 542,000 circulations). We were going to run it the first two weeks of July but missed the deadline because since it is an ad for adoption they needed a letter from our agency stating we are qualified to adopt; I suppose somewhere somehow there was a lawsuit, someone who hadn't completed a homestudy tried to adopt. Anyway, so it will be the 2nd two weeks of July which is probably better since we are taking a trip up to Canada part of the first week and second week.

And we just ordered car magnets, you know the ones you see people advertising their businesses on, it's 12" x 24". This fabulous idea came from our friend Jill. Why not, can't hurt!

Today is my niece, Michelle's, 18th birthday. Happy Birthday!!!!! What in the world do you get for an 18 year old????? I have made plans with her to take her to lunch on Friday and to go shopping, that way she can pick out what she wants.

Happy Birthday!

2007-06-21T08:23:00.000-05:00

Today is my Mom's birthday! It is a milestone year, not gonna say cause ladies do not disclose their age! It's nice that they are in town so we can celebrate with her. Unlike for my Dad's since they are always in Florida for his. It sounds like the whole family will be able to come to dinner so it should be a good time. Hopefully the weather will hold up, they are predicting thunder storms, yuck. Happy Birthday day Mom!

And yesterday was Roxie's birthday! Our little furbaby is 3 years old, wow did that time go fast. I feel bad cause she did not get her usual birthday surprise, the bone from a T-Bone. We forgot to buy one when we went grocery shopping on Sunday, oops. So instead I gave her a small amount of ice cream with fresh whipped topping (she loves whipped cream!). I know, not really the best thing for dogs but heck it was her birthday and Dan said it was okay ;-)

Thus starts our big birthday streak - so many more to come in the next few months for family and friends (I count 10 in the next 4 weeks!).

Not Alone

2007-06-14T08:16:00.000-05:00

I'm so glad we went to the presentation the other night. It was a relief to know that what we are feeling is normal and okay. It is okay for us to be down/depressed and to have some anger during this adoption process. And to understand that we don't have control over the situation no matter how much we think we do, we don't. It was also comforting to know that there are others feeling the same way both in the domestic and international programs.

After the presentation we stayed for the support group that they have every month for waiting families. It's amazing how many share the same thoughts and experiences. It was funny to actually hear some people in the international program have been told by family/friends that maybe they should go with Domestic adoption (due to their wait time), cause we have heard the same thing that maybe we should try International. Both types of adoption has it pros and cons. And we found out that we were not alone with having almost had a match. One couple received a call that they had a match and then three days later the birthmom gave birth early and decided to parent. Another couple had found a birthmom outside of the agency but decided after a couple months (before birth) not to pursue the adoption due to alcohol/drug use by the birthmom. We all had similar feelings of hope, sadness and now hesitation at the next match possibility.

On a positive note, one of my friends from my on-line forum received their referral from Ethiopia yesterday. It is for a sibling group, a boy and girl. I'm just so happy for her and her family! When I read her news I couldn't stop crying I was so overwhelmed with joy for her. And am getting all teary eyed right now typing this. Congrats Angie!!!!!

Things are moving along

2007-06-12T07:37:00.000-05:00

The letters went in the mail on Friday, mailed to 134 pregnancy crisis centers. We finished updating our profile (yay!), we will be turning it in tonight since we will be at the agency. We are attending a seminar "Coping with the Wait in Adoption", so we will drop off the new profile to go in the Waiting Families book. So it appears things are moving along.

The Plan

2007-06-04T18:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the absence. Last week was kind of rough for us. It started out when I noticed there were about 10 new profiles out on our Agency's website. It just started me thinking that there are so many adoptive families and not enough birth families and how would we ever get picked. Usually Dan is my rock and when I'm down he will get me to feel better but he was feeling rather down as well. So for a couple days we kind of mopped around. Then this weekend we started to put a plan in place. Dan is working on ads (on-line and paper) and I will be doing another mass mailing. This time I have found all the pregnancy crisis centers in the MN and the surrounding states, so far I have addresses for about 100. My goal is to try to do at least one mass mailing every couple weeks. If anyone has ideas of places to mail to please post them! We aren't going to stop until our baby finds us!!!

I really should have posted on Friday to share the news that my niece Michelle graduated from high school. I'm just so proud of her! She was 29th in her class, out of about 300 students. I just can't believe she is out of high school. It seems like the other day that I was babysitting her and she decided to projectile vomit on me the bottle she had just finished off. Where did the time go?

A week

2007-05-23T08:24:00.001-05:00

Even though it's only been a week since we heard the news time is just dragging by. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so strong or that I didn't have that drive to never give up but that was not how I was raised (thank you Mom & Dad!). It would be so easy to just curl up in bed and sleep until we are chosen. However I can't do that, I'm too determined of a person and need to be proactive. So I have started to revise our profile, not making too much changes just adding some updated pictures and changing some wording (want it to really speak from the heart). We will also be posting our profile out on some adoption sites. Those cost money but I guess in the long run what's an extra couple hundred compared to the $20K total that it is costing us to adopt. Which I could totally go on a rant about that but don't feel like being negative right now.

I'm looking forward to the long weekend and spending quality time with my honey! We both have Friday off as well. We are going to be painting a couple of our bathrooms (well I should say, Dan will be painting and I will be watching) and if the weather is nice get out and go biking, Rollerblading and maybe some golf!

Unanswered Prayers

2007-05-19T08:20:00.000-05:00

We are healing slowly, I think I'm further along then Dan. It is so painful and heartbreaking. It's like finding out you are pregnant and then miscarrying. Your hopes are so high and then loss. However it is what it is. We can't change it. We just need to accept it and move on. The Agency had called, both our social worker and the birthmom's social worker. During my conversations with them I didn't have the need to ask questions as to "why". It doesn't matter. This is odd coming from me, I'm the type of person that can over analyze anything to death (I know there are alot of nodding heads of family and friends reading this LOL!).

I know that one day it will happen for us and it will be a wonderful match! We'll look back to this situation and thank God for this one not working out. During times like this in my life, when things don't go the way I want them to, I always think back to the song by Garth Brooks "Unanswered Prayers" and it gives me comfort:

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

There have been so many things in my life that I have truly thanked God for not answering that prayer. He does know what he's doing sometimes ;-)

I want to extend a big hug and thanks to everyone for their support during this trying time. It would be so much harder if we didn't have your support.

Lesson learned

2007-05-16T18:36:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately we were not chosen :(

Even though K had a better connection with us and wanted to chose us the parents had a better connection with the other family and went with them. It's too bad the social worker gave us false hope that we were the ones without confirmation from Ks parents.

I feel bad that I got everyone all excited for us. Lesson has been learned that until it is completely official (and maybe finalized, well that might be going too far) we will wait on sending a broad cast email to everyone.

I know God has his reasons as to why this little guy was not meant to be a part of our family but it still hurts and we of course are very sad. We can't help but wonder if we will ever get to fulfill our dream of being parents.

I ordered a t-shirt today that says "Adoption- The Wait Is So Long But So Worth It!" I sure hope so cause this is killing us!

A bump in the journey

2007-05-12T07:22:00.000-05:00

So we got an email from Rachel late yesterday afternoon that starts off like this:

Dan and Linda, I am really sorry to have to be sharing this information with you…but

oh geeze, sick feeling in pit of stomach when I read that.

She goes on to tell us that the meeting on Monday has been postponed. That Ks parents feel that because of her age she is unable to make such a serious commitment to one family without meeting another. And that they want her to explore all of her options before they will feel comfortable supporting her in her decision. (note - when I say Ks parents I'm referring to her Dad and his girlfriend, just easier to type Parents)

Well, this other family had better be something spectacular to outshine us! Cause we are pretty darn great ;-)

Rachel did say in her email that her parents think we are an excellent family and them meeting another has nothing to do with the very positive impression they had of our family. So that is GREAT news!

She is hoping to be able to give us a more solid direction of their decision by Tuesday or Wednesday. UGH, more waiting!

Over the next few days there is going to be alot of praying to give me the patience and support to get through the next several days. I know that if this baby is meant to be in our lives then God will see that it happens.

Is it Monday yet?!

2007-05-11T08:18:00.000-05:00

It's been a week since we met K, however it seems like so long ago. I wish we would have been able to keep the momentum going with a meeting this week. I almost can't picture her anymore. Dan said we should take a picture of her this next meeting.....ummm no. I don't think that would go over too well, they might think we are alittle weird ;-) Maybe in a couple weeks honey.

So I have decided, with some feedback from family/friends, to keep the crib bedding out! It is so adorable, cheery and neutral plus it will be a baby room for a year or so. And with how much Dan likes to paint we can definitely switch it out in no time to a boy toddler theme. I'm so lucky he likes to paint!

I can't believe we have another 4 days to wait, ugh! Of course, every once in a while there is a little voice inside my head that is worried that something might happen before our next meeting to make her change her mind. I squash those thoughts as soon is they creep in. Only positive thinking is allow right now!!!

Next Match Meeting Scheduled

2007-05-07T19:01:00.000-05:00

We heard back from Rachel earlier today and it looks like this week doesn't work. They have a busy week: an appt with a lawyer, K has doctor appt and a counseling session. So it has been scheduled for next Monday at 6pm at our house. Also the Dad and Step/Mom don't feel comfortable with K meeting without them until everyone knows each other alittle better. Which we can understand completely. Rachel did talk with them about letting K speak for herself and they agreed to be more conscious of this.

I'm bummed that it is not this week however it will just give us some extra time to get things organized around the house. I'm debating on whether to keep the crib bedding out or not, what if they don't like it? Dan thinks I'm crazy but women worry about things like this. Also wondering if I should make some bars or something. Well I have a whole week to make these decisions.

I wanted to say a big THANK YOU to all of our family and friends for their shared excitement, words of enthusiasm and prayers! We are so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives to take part in this wonderful journey with us. Thank you!!!!!

Pinch me

2007-05-05T16:58:00.000-05:00

I keep thinking "am I dreaming?" It still hasn't fully sunk in yet that we have been matched with a birthmom. I think it will once K asks us. I just hope I don't get over emotional when she does. I don't want to scare her off by how I look when I cry (not a pretty picture LOL!).

We ran some errands yesterday, one place we went to was Costco and just had to pick up a few boy outfits (wasn't just my idea, Dan was all excited too!). Here's what we got:

The sleeper is 9 months, the long sleeve two piece is 3 months and the other two piece is newborn. The newborn one is so cute, you can't see the writing but it says "Daddy's Little Helper" and has tools on it. And the sleeper has a doggie on it, had to get that one in honor of Roxie. Aahhhhh, so cute!

Then Dan was insistent that we stop at the book store to get some baby books. So we picked up two:

The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau
Your Baby's First Year For Dummies

Good thing we take the bus to work so we have time to read these before July 18th! Our next step is to get signed up for a class on basic baby care stuff. Time to head over to Babies R Us to see what they might have for classes.

I'm hoping I'll be able to post when our next meeting is on Monday night. Stay tuned.....

Happy Dance!

2007-05-04T18:43:00.000-05:00

The social worker called around 5:30pm to let us know that it is unoffical that "K" wants us to parent her baby!!! The only reason why it is not offical is because "K" wants to ask us in person, OMG how sweet is that! So next week Rachel (social worker) and "K" will come over to our house so we can all get to know each other better without the Dad and "step in mom" and for her to ask us. I know I will cry. Then afterwards we are to go out to dinner with everyone, including Dad and "step in mom". Rachel will call us on Monday to let us know what night works best for them. We of course said anytime works, we will drop everything for this!

We are in shock! We have made a few phone calls to let people know and slowly as we make the calls the more excited we are getting. It is just such a perfect match and situation.

It has been 1219 days since we have tried to become parents,
315 days since we decided to adopt,
170 days since waiting on a match and,
75 days until we realize our dream of becoming parents!!!

The Match Meeting

2007-05-04T05:14:00.000-05:00

Here it is very early Friday morning and I can't sleep so thought I would post an update.

We were so nervous yesterday and get this, got lost on our way over there. Well not exactly lost but when I typed in the address to Google Maps I typed 2230 and not 2330. The agency has two buildings and it was in the building we've never been in. Needless to say there is not a 2230 so Dan went in to a Speedy Mart and asked and it was just down the street a block. Its a good thing we were meeting with the social workers first, so we had plenty of time before the birth mom arrived.

The meeting went extremely well! She is a wonderful girl and of course due to this pregnancy a bit older for her age. She knows exactly what type of open adoption she wants and knows that she cannot raise this baby without sacrificing the rest of her childhood. She wants to do school sports, go out with friends, go to college. She has a very good head on her shoulders. And she is just so cute! She has sandy brown hair, green eyes, fair skin and the cutest button nose. I can tell once she gets to know a person she opens up and is talkative, however last night it was kind of hard for her.

Her Dad and "step in mom" were also there, very nice people, a bit talkative though so it sometimes was hard for the birthmom to speak up. I could tell the Dad loves his daughter so much and just wants what is best for her. He is very, very supportive of adoption plans.

We really like her and there are alot of similarities between her, Dan and I; personalities, things in our childhood, values. When they left her social worker walked them out and I guess she wanted to make her decision then because she really really liked us (whooohoooo!). However her Dad and "step in mom" told her she was to young to make this decision so fast, that she needs to sleep on it. The social worker arranged for a meeting with just her tomorrow to talk it through, since ultimately it is her decision. That meeting is at 3:30pm and then the social worker said she will call us at 5pm to let us know. That's 12 hours away, UGH!

I truly believe we made a match! Of course there is always the possibility that after she has had time to think it over she might decide she doesn't like us that much (nahhh, we're great people what's there not to like!).

I know you all are waiting for this info ---
Due date July 18
It's a Boy!

Once we get the call I'll post an update. Keep sending those prayers! Thanks ;-)

The Agency called!

2007-05-01T20:34:00.000-05:00

We received a call today that there is a birthmom that wants to meet us!!! The call came around 11am, they first tried me at work but I was on a conference call so they called Dan. He took all the info down and called and left me a vm to call him immediately, he didn't say why. He had to repeat the words a few times for it to sink in what he was saying, I made a bit of a scene at work (screamed alittle LOL!) and told him that this had better not be a joke, nope no joke. Then I started to cry a little and shake with excitement. I was pretty much a basket case the rest of the day. She is looking at another couple, however Rachel (from the agency) said that we are her favorite but she thought she had better meet with another couple. A plus for us is that we live in the same suburb as her which she might factor into her decision. She is a young girl but sounds very grounded and is embracing adoption for her baby. So the meeting is set for Thursday night at the agency. If this is meant to be our baby it will happen. Please send some prayers our way to help us get through the next few days.

Another Great Weekend

2007-04-29T16:07:00.000-05:00

It's 4pm on Sunday and it has been another great weekend here! No rain this weekend, sunny sky through out. Today we went for a nice long bike ride on the Three River nature trail by us. Thank goodness I've been riding my stationary bike for the last several months otherwise Dan would have left me in his dust :)

On Saturday we went to go order the stroller/infant car seat combo at Direct Buy (we became members last year when we moved into the house). However the model we wanted (Graco Quattro Deluxe Travel System) is not available through them so it looks like we will have to pay retail for it. We also went and picked up some color swatches for the nursery, about time considering we've been talking about that for a couple months now. I think we will use three colors; two yellows and a sage. And we will attempt to paint a bumble bee buzzing around to match the bedding. Once we have it completed I'll post a picture.

Well that's all for now, Roxie is looking at me pleading for me to go play ball with her in the back yard.

It's Spring!

2007-04-22T17:11:00.000-05:00

Even though it is raining here right now this weekend has been pretty good. The first weekend that has the feel of spring time in the air. It's been in the 70's both days so I was able to get a few things done outside. Tended to our landscaping, cleaned up some shrubs and put some of my garden decor out. I was also able to get some of the patio/deck furniture out. It started to rain mid afternoon here and it is much needed, so I'm not going to complain. It will definitely get things to green up since its been pretty dry here. Speaking of green, Happy Earth Day!

I wish I had some news to share about our adoption plans. I did have a dream last night that we had a few potential birth moms contact us wanting to meet. If only it wasn't a dream.

No champs here

2007-04-15T18:46:00.000-05:00

Dan's hockey team did not win the tournament this weekend (not too surprising). I went and watched their last game on Saturday, which neither team was at their best. Both teams must have been pretty tired cause they were all kind of hackie at each other. However it was always fun to go and watch, I've always loved hockey! Dan did get a little injury (well, according to him an injury is were you can't play so he says it was not an injury and I beg to differ). Him and a team mate skated into each other and knocked each other down. Dan's head rammed into the other guys back pretty hard, it took them both about a minute or so to get back to their feet. Dan ended up with a scrap on his nose from his helmet. Ah, good times.

Today was a beautiful Minnesota day, we went for a very long walk with Roxie in the nature trail by us. We took the grass trail instead of the paved one so Roxie was able to be off the leash for the most part. She of course just loved running free and rolled in something that was either mud or something else that is brown......eeuuwwwww. She got a bath as soon as we got home.

Nothing new on the adoption front, just waiting.

Winter or Spring???

2007-04-12T20:43:00.000-05:00

You just never know with Minnesota weather at this time of year. Yesterday it snowed here, actually it started on Tuesday night and continued into Wednesday evening. It was a light snow/drizzle and we end up having about 2 inches in our yard. And of course today the weather turned warmer and it melted. Make up your mind Minnesota!!! I really want to switch out my wardrobe but I hate being cold, I guess I will have to continue to wear my turtlenecks for another week or so.

Dan has his hockey tournament this weekend. Tonight is the first game and then there are two on Saturday with the championship game on Sunday. Last year his team won the league, they were so excited and it was well deserved, they really played great last year. Not sure if they will this year, they've kind of been slackin' (shhhh don't tell Dan I said that).

Another contact

2007-04-08T20:24:00.000-05:00

We received an email from a women that works at a Planned Parenthood a couple hours away from the Twin Cities (received our mailing). She went to our website and commented on how much she liked it (if you haven't done so, check it out the new one is now published). She also told us that she is expecting, unplanned pregnancy (yes, a bit ironic considering where she works), and contemplating adoption. We, of course, are not getting our hopes up at all but it is nice to have had another person contact us because of our mailings.

We also heard of another potential birthmother earlier in the week, not from the mailings, again not getting hopes up.

Dan and I have faith in God, that when the time is right the child that is meant to be in our arms will find his/her way to us. Until then, we are waiting patiently and of course keeping ourselves busy ;-)

How sweet is this?

2007-04-04T19:52:00.000-05:00

On Monday night we got a call from a woman that works at a clinic near our house, one of the ones we mailed to. She wanted to let us know that she would definitely pass on the info to the staff and doctors at her clinic. She also asked for me to send her more cards, that 3 just wouldn't be enough. Oops...I guess I should have looked at how many doctors were in each clinic we mailed to and sent that amount. I did get the cards off to her the next morning with a thank you note.

She also told us that her and her husband are also in the process of getting ready to adopt, their homestudy is almost approved. She thought is was a great idea to send out the letter and that they will be doing the same thing but that she did not want to do outreach at her clinic being to close to the patience's etc... It was just so sweet of her to call us! It gave me hope that maybe alot of those letters and cards won't end up in the trash. I hope one day I can pass on hope to a stranger like she did for me!

Time to catch up!

2007-04-01T13:03:00.000-05:00

It's been a couple weeks since my last post, been a bit busy. Our weekend get away was nice, we ended up hiking instead of cross country skiing. It was still a good time and amazing to see the huge ice build up on the shores of Lake Superior due to the powerful winds from the big snow storms we had the other month, here's a couple of pictures

Remember a couple months ago when I said I wanted to send out letters to the OB/GYN clinics, well I finally got around to doing that. We started with the clinics within a 10 miles radius of us, all the Planned Parenthoods in MN and then all within a 60 miles radius of Duluth. There was a total of 85 letters. My mom helped me the other day put them together, we stuffed them with a few business cards. I'm sure the majority will end up in the trash but it only takes one person to pass on the info to someone that is wanting to make adoption plans for their baby. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Dan is also in the process of updating our website with a fresh look. We should have that published by Tuesday.

Other things going on in my life, I've been focusing on going Green! This will be an evolving process, taking baby steps right now. First I'm concentrating on the personal and skincare products I use. I was amazed to find out that alot of the products I use have chemicals in them that are linked to causing cancer (specifically breast). Not that this is brand new info to me I guess I'm just taking my blinders off and realizing it is time to make a change for the health of me and the environment. I went through my drawers/cabinets and have at least 30 items to get rid of. I've begun to use my new products and love them! Here is a link to an article on this topic http://www.seventhgen.com/making_difference/newsletter_article.php?article=539&issue=82

We will also be changing out all household products with "green" ones once we run out of what we currently have. This then also raises the question on what will we do about diapers. Do we use expensive environmentally friendly one's, cloth one's or the one's that will sit in a landfill for years???

We're melting....

2007-03-12T08:12:00.000-05:00

Well the 20 or so inches of snow we got a few weeks go has almost melted in half! The weather this weekend was spring like, it was so beautiful. If it continues like this we won't have any snow left by next weekend. I'm alittle bummed since we have plans to go up to the North Shore area this coming weekend and we're hoping to cross country ski. Oh well, we may have to settle for muddy hiking instead. Either way it will be a nice break to get away. Roxie isn't coming with us, "Uncle Ronnie" will be doggy sitting. He'd better get use to it cause he will definitely be called on for baby sitting once we are blessed with our baby. There has to be some perks of having a best friend of 22 years, right?!

Boring

2007-02-28T08:06:00.000-06:00

Yep, it's been rather boring for the last few weeks. Nothing new to report, just waiting....waiting....waiting. UGH!

We did finally get some snow in MN last weekend, around our neighborhood it was about 10 inches or so. It is nice to look outside and see white instead of depressing brown! Roxie was thrilled, she just loves playing in the snow. She was bounding around the front yard with the snow almost head deep and tail wagging non stop she was so excited. When I was shoveling the front walk she would try to catch the snow in her mouth as I heaved it into the yard, too cute!

We are suppose to get a few more inches of snow today/tonight, I hope they are right. We are booked to go up north to a resort in a couple weekends and hopefully go cross country skiing as long as there is snow. So I say "let is snow"!

I should have posted this yesterday, Happy Birthday Jill!!!

Another Birthday & Happy Valentine's Day!!!

2007-02-14T08:27:00.000-06:00

I didn't forget but I forgot to posted it here, yesterday was my Dad's birthday. Happy Birthday Dad (Don)!!!! My parents are down in Florida, they go every year, it is makes me kind of sad that I don't get to celebrate his birthday in person :( Especially this year, it is a milestone birthday, however I'm not going to say what year. Besides it how you feel inside and how you act that is the true age test, right dad?! And he passes that test with flying colors!

Happy Valentine's day to everyone! Last year on this day I was on bedrest after our embryo transfer from our IVF attempt. I foolishly told Dan that we weren't going to do anything, meaning we wouldn't be able to go out, but he took it that we weren't going to do ANYTHING :( so not even a card. Believe me, he learned his lesson and I mine. Never will I say we aren't doing anything without adding specific details. He already sent me an e-card this morning, it gave me warm fuzzies and a smile to my face!!!

Happy Birthday

2007-02-05T16:34:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Dan, happy birthday to you!

Well, not so much. Unfortunately I have a bit of the flu bug, yuck :( Woke up in the middle of night and was sick. We were suppose to go out to dinner to his favorite place tonight, Famous Dave's, which he usually only gets once a year cuz I'm not a big fan, now he stuck with leftovers or whatever he can find. Poor guy. However I did make him a yummy birthday cake yesterday, which he says is the best chocolate cake he has ever had (yes, he knows how to get me to bake for him again. Smart man.)

I can't wait to give him his gifts. Got him the basics; shirt, book and $$$ for a tech toy. I also wanted to find a baby shirt, sleeper, or whatever that had "I love Daddy" on it. Wasn't able to find anything generic in color or style so I ended up getting a Bib and burp cloth in blue tones that has "I love my Daddy". It's the thought that counts, right?! Sure hope we get to use it soon :)

No updates on the adoption front.

It was -18 Fahrenheit this morning. And yes, that is a minus. Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, why are we living in MN???

Little Miss do it herself

2007-01-28T18:07:00.000-06:00

We picked up the crib and dresser yesterday. I couldn't wait to get the crib put together, so I attempted it myself this afternoon. Dan was taking a nap, he wasn't feeling good today, coming down with a cold. I was almost done by the time he woke up, he came into the room and said "things must be going well, I didn't hear any swearing". Hahaha....well he learned his lesson. I was obviously holding it in until he woke up. I was so tired and my fingers hurt from that stupid little allen wrench it came with. I had one piece left to go, I threw down the wrench and told him he could finish it. Of course he is such a sweetie and did it without giving me grief. We still haven't decided on the layout, need to work with that. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks we can get it painted and put together.

We received an email from N on Friday. She said that she would like to keep in contact with us, she still is unsure what to do but the final decision is up to her (not the birth father or her family). She had a doctors appt this week and everything looked good and found out it is a girl. She said she could email the ultrasounds pictures to us if we would like. UGH!!!! This is so hard, much harder then infertility treatments. How do I not get emotionally attached to this situation????

OT (off topic) - Just wanted to wish my cousin good luck tomorrow in the Miss America pageant! Go Miss Nebraska!!! (ssshhhhh don't tell Miss MN I'm not rooting for her) Good luck Molly!

Time to move on

2007-01-19T17:17:00.000-06:00

We heard from N a couple days ago apologizing about Sunday. She mentioned that the birth father has changed his mind and wants her to keep the baby. She wasn't sure why he is changing his mind and she hadn't had time yet to talk to him more about it. I also got the feeling that she might not be ready to commit to an adoption plan.

We emailed her back and told her that we would give her space to let her work through discussions with the birth father and her family. And if she wanted to continue to chat with us she could.

So that is where we are at. Right now my gut is saying this is not the one, so emotionally I need to move on. We are going to start some more in depth outreach.

I had my annual appt today with my OB/GYN doc and gave her some of our cards, she said she would mention it to the other physicians in the office. Yay! What better place to do outreach then OB/GYN clinics! So we will probably take on the task of sending out letters around the twin cities to any OB/GYN clinics we can find an address for. That will definitely be an undertaking, but hopefully worth it.

On a happier note, we ordered crib bedding last week and it came the other day. It is so cute, cheery and neutral. Can't wait for the crib to get here so we can get the room painted and set up. Here are some pics of the bedding

Patience

2007-01-15T12:51:00.000-06:00

Well I was hoping to have some good news to share, however we were not able to connect with "N" yesterday. We left her a voicemail and then tried again an hour later, someone answered and said she had to work. So we emailed her and gave her our 800# and told her to call us when she was available or send us a note back with another time to call her.

I have to say with all the infertility treatments we went through one of the good things that came from that was learning to be patient. Believe me, if you are not a patient person before infertility treatments/tests you are force to learn this virtue and fast. So we sit and wait. If it is meant to be it will be.

Patience is quiet hope and trust that things will turn out right. You wait without complaining. You are tolerant and accepting of difficulties and mistakes. You picture the end in the beginning and persevere to meet your goals. Patience is a commitment to the future.

Update

2007-01-13T12:08:00.000-06:00

We heard back from "N" this week and she is open to a phone conversation. We thought we had better touch base with our social worker about the situation and get her feedback and input before we spoke with "N" on the phone.

Our social worker pointed out some things we hadn't thought about yet (I guess we were to excited to remember every thing we learned in our classes, oops).

She suggested that we either get in touch with an adoption lawyer before we meet face to face with "N" or recommended that we have her contact the agency. We had mentioned to "N" a couple times about the agency but it didn't appear she was ready for that step. However after we explained to "N" that there is some additional legal action that she would need to do and it would be easier for her if she was working with an agency she said she would think about it and that we could discuss it during our phone conversation.

We have a tentative phone call scheduled with her on Sunday afternoon, yay! It will be nice to hear her voice, to add another dimension to her besides the email. I hope we can sway her to contact the agency, not just for easy of the process but I truly want her to get the support she needs during this time of her life and so she has all the help she needs in this decision process, even if her decision is to parent this child.

Keep your fingers crossed that we will be able to connect with her on Sunday.

On a side note, my friend Kerri gave birth to their second child on Thursday, a baby girl. Congrats Kerri and Ryan! Welcome to this world Chloe!

Dreams do come true!

2007-01-07T13:37:00.000-06:00

I'm so excited for a friend I have met through an online forum. She and her husband are going to the hospital today to take home their precious baby girl that they are adopting. I've been following her process from before they were picked to now. It's been a tense couple of days for her from the time the birth mom gave birth on Thursday to today, the anxiety on whether the birth mom would change her mind or not seemed almost unbearable, but she has made it through. They went to see the baby yesterday and made plans to take the baby home today. It is just so exciting to see others go through this and to see that dreams do come true.

Please God, let our dream come true as well!

I'm such a bad blogger!

2007-01-01T17:18:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I'm not the best blogger but I promise for the new year I will post more. Its just that things have been super busy at work and with the holidays it was kind of crazy. And then of course I got a really bad cold, still trying to get rid of it.

Here we are, first day of 2007! I just know that this year is going to be memorable. Hopefully our child will find us and the business venture that Dan is involved in will soar!

Well onto the news that this blog was created for. We were contacted by a potential birth mom a couple weeks ago. She found our website and emailed us. We have sent a couple of emails back and forth. We want to respect her privacy so I'm not going to share all the details but will tell you she lives in MN and is due in June. Our next steps I think will be to talk with "N" on the phone and see how that goes. I'm not going to get my hopes up yet but it is rather exciting to have some action on the horizon.

Oh, I almost forgot. We ordered a crib and dresser this weekend, we are excited to get the nursery started. It will be a nice reminder that one day we will be parents.

Happy New Year!

Our Wonderful Family's

2006-12-05T19:28:00.000-06:00

Dan and I are so lucky to have such wonderful family on both sides.

Some of Dan's family came down for Thanksgiving weekend (Phoebe, Neil, Molly, Vern, David, Jimmy and Rory). We were so happy that they wanted to make the trip down here. It was a grand time and the house was officially broken in! It was great to see our house full of so much life and gave us a glimpse of the future ahead of us having children. On Thanksgiving day Dan's Aunt Anita and Uncle Rudy were also here as well as my Mom and Dad. It truly was a memorable Thanksgiving.

Another wonderful family moment. Last weekend we went over to my Mom and Dad's for dinner, they gave us a "Congrats on Expecting" card and made a donation towards our adoption. I of course cried when I opened the card, it was so sweet of them! It finally hit home that we are expecting, it's like we are 8 months pregnant but we just don't know when we will hit the 9th month.

Our family's mean the world to us and we cherish every moment we get to spend with them. We are so grateful to have such loving and caring people in our lives. We cannot wait until our baby can experience this as well. Thank you for being our family!

God's Perfect Plan

2006-11-26T12:12:00.000-06:00

The angels looking down from heaven saw the woman start to cry,
Saw her heart was breaking once again, saw her husband deeply sigh.

The angels each could feel their pain from way up in the sky.
Must they always have such heartache? The angels wondered why.

So they approached the Heavenly Father and asked him to explain
Why a loving, faithful couple must endure such hurt and pain.

For they only want a child to love, to share their lives and dreams.
The Father gently told them "All is not quite as it seems".

"You see, there is a child for them, I've picked the perfect one,
Their hopes and dreams will be fulfilled one day thru adoption".

"This child will not be born to them, yet together they will be,
Soon joined in love and happiness, finally a family".

Then the angels sang a song of joy for the Father helped them see
God's plans include such special ways to make a family.

Author unknown

Bad News / Good News

2006-11-19T16:38:00.000-06:00

I've been so busy at work so haven't had much time to do anything, keeping up on my email and posting here has dropped to the bottom of the list. Sleep is just before and even that is lacking lately with so much on my mind.

We had been waiting to see our profile posted on the agency's site and couldn't understand why it was taking so long when we uploaded it the same day we dropped off the paper profiles. So Dan contacted the agency early last week and found out that there was some accounting error and we were NOT in the book. Let's just say Dan was not a happy Canadian. As for me, I was bummed but too busy to take time to be mad.

We are officially in the book (as of Wednesday) and our profile has been uploaded on the agency's website. Phew! As for the last week or so and not being in the book, I'm sure God has her reasons so I'm going to let it go and look to the future. So now the official wait begins!

I'm going to be one of those!

2006-11-11T18:02:00.000-06:00

I went to lunch and shopping with Jill today, had a wonderful time! There were babies and toddlers everywhere and it didn't bother me at all. We went to Applebee's for lunch and there were at least 10 strollers lined up in the lobby and as we were waiting for our table I was thinking "OMG, that is going to be me one day! Parking my baby's stroller in the lobby while we have lunch". I can't wait for that day to come!

I did restrain myself from going into the baby stores, but as we walked by I did peek in and thought about buying something. However I want Dan and I to be together for the first item we buy for the baby. Korny, I know.

Also I noticed there was a play area for the kids at the mall (and it was packed) and all I could think of was "yuck, germs!" I'm totally going to have to buy stock in Purell! And get over some of my issues ;-) It will be so worth it though.

In "the book"

2006-11-08T10:58:00.000-06:00

I found out late yesterday afternoon that we are in the book! We are so excited! We wanted to celebrate last night by going out to dinner however work has been super busy for me and I had to work late. UGH!

I know that everytime the phone rings or we have a message I'll be holding my breath in anticipation wondering if it is the agency. I hope it is a short wait cause I don't know if I can handle extended periods of anticipation.

Linda

We are adopting!

2006-11-06T20:40:00.000-06:00

Some of you know, and some we have not told. We have struggled with unexplained infertility for almost three years. It has been a very VERY long journey; we have endured endless heartache month after month. Unless you have walked this journey it may be hard to understanding what we have gone through, if you'd like some better understanding click on the link to the right titled Empty Arms.

The time came this summer when we had to say enough to the infertility treatments. It was time to move on and we knew in our hearts we were ready for the gift of adoption. We picked an agency and decided on domestic infant adoption and began the process to get approved. We had been told it could take anywhere from 4 to 6 months just to get approved. To our pleasant surprise it has been a very smooth process for us, from time of registration to being approved to adopt it only took 83 days! We were amazed and it just reaffirmed that this is definitely the right path for us to take. We wanted to wait until we were approved before we shared the news with extended family and friends.

Last week we turned in our parent profile to go in "The Waiting Family" book at the agency, it should be added in the next day or so. We are excited, nervous and scared all at once. We could get picked right away or we could wait months on end. But one day we will realize our dream of becoming parents and we wanted to share this exciting news with everyone. We will also do our own outreach to find a potential birth mom/parents (yes, Dan has already built a website for us; see link to the right Open to Adoption).

I wanted to create this blog to keep friends and family members updated on our progress, to provide a fast and easy way to check on how things are going for us. I hope to continue with this site even after our child is in our arms. I know there are a lot of people out there praying for us, we appreciate all of your prayers, our deepest thanks goes out to you.

Thank you for taking time to read about our journey, we hope you will continue to follow along.

Love,
Linda & Dan